diary of a self proclaimed "slut"

the realization pulled me out of bed in the morning. confirmation pulled away the duvet and left me naked and alone. shame sat present on the back of my tongue, making it hard to swallow, stretching her claws round my lungs so hard i struggled to breathe.

the memories played and they played, right across the pure eggshell walls like a movie i just couldn't turn off. it didn't matter how hard i tried. i heard the grunts and moans when i closed my eyes. saw the movements and his fingers on her skin when i opened them.

in the shower regret fell down through the water, building up at my feet until it drowned me. you can see the marks he left, the angry, violent, purple blotches on my skin in my reflection. the marks that will be around longer than he was.

my subconscious is staring back at me in the mirror and she's crying. "when will you learn from your mistakes?" she asks, and it's a good question. when will i learn you can't make someone love you by touching them? you just end up loving yourself a little less when you watch them leave you alone.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8bo0bk/like_your_eyes/dx8gw3j/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8bmh4o/therapy/dx8h0wh/