hey, ya want an apple?

Of course you don’t, apples are evil
They contain thoughts like free will
and [redacted] and disobeying god
Which shows why they should never grow

But we do for some damn reason.
We evolve to make machines and theories
We get modern; like so:

“Why does it have to be an apple”
Why not an orange?”
But this is like comparing apples to orangutans
which disproves Darwin’s theories because nothing rhymes with our origin

but it don’t matter because
we can share terabytes of Apple
and evolve, get post-modern, to make
memes, and rants, and shitposts: like so

Some guy’s boss wants apple juice
“I want t h e k n o w l e d g e - of how it tastes”
So his assistant went to stand in a juice line five syllables long
And then thinks “Wait a minute,
Was that a motherfucking b i b l e reference?”
and with that thought he realizes that
this is the punch line

“self-portrait” by comealongleavemebe

“Hide Behind” by steakfry420