Source
r/MtF•
MyDamnBlog

Going to a male dominated event tonight, nervous about being misgendered and disrespected.

Tonight, Magic: the Gathering is having the pre-release event for their new set and I am going to play at a local store. I used to go all the time when I was closeted, but haven't been in over a year and a half because of depression before I came out and nerves once I came out.

I am gonna get my hair "done" (not anything fancy, just gonna get it thinned cause it is too thick and then have it straightened.) I also plan to dress feminine obviously. I am debating doing make-up, but it is gonna be a hot room, after midnight, I don't super want it to run or anything and I probably won't have the energy to take it off when I get home. I would probably do foundation, color corrector, blush and mascara, if I did it.

Anyway, I am just nervous. I feel fake telling people my name is Tiana (despite the fact it is my legal name at this point), I feel worried that, when in a room of mostly men, I will just be seen as a man. This is also my first event playing as openly female and while I don't pass flawlessly, I do pass regularly, so social interactions may be weird.

Idk, I am just nervous and my brain is all over the place right now. Just posting this to get my feelings out.

Posted Apr 20, 2018, 5:42 PM UTC

5926
Spellstutter•

I’m a trans Mtg judge so I feel you. Just go and beat the boys have fun and break some hearts babe. :3

35
MyDamnBlogOPTiana | 21 | HRT: 05/22/2017•

Thanks :) that is good advice:)

12
Spellstutter•

I’m glad :). It’s mtg policy anyway to support us and use proper pronouns. Hopefully there will be good judges there to enforce that. Either way just kill em girl. I hope you pull good rares. I can’t wait for the new Jaya myself.

12
lare290Pre-everything•

I just read MTG as "Male to Gathering". Maybe I'm tired.

1
Spellstutter•

Lol hopefully it’s not. I mean right now magic is a male gathering but I’m trying to make it more of a woman thing. An all woman tourney would be awesome

2
TGDevMTF/39/HRT April '18•

I love this advice so much

2
Spellstutter•

Hehe thanks!! :3

1
AriiMoose•

Username checks out!

Just knowing that there's at least one trans judge in the world makes LGS trips less intimidating! Out of curiosity what level judge are you?

1
Spellstutter•

Haha yeah I’m happy I could snag it. Such a good username. I don’t play faeries anymore but they were my first foray into modern so they are always dear to me.

I’m glad! There’s actually 2 of us at my store. I’m a trans woman and the other judge is non binary. I’m not any level yet but hoping to get level 1 soon. Judging lots though, modern, legacy, standard and drafts every week.

1
imlostinmyhead•

Knowing the typical MTG nerd I'd imagine you'll get demeaned and/or ogled for being a girl more than suspicion about your identity if you even pass sometimes.

Waterproof makeup is a thing and probably a good recommendation in those circumstances.

13
MyDamnBlogOPTiana | 21 | HRT: 05/22/2017•

Yikers. Yeah, I hope that doesn't happen more than anything O.o

3
Pantzar-Karlsson•

You’re gonna be great, don’t worry! And I can relate to the name thing, took me a few months after changing it legally before I fully absorbed it so to say 😆

Good luck!

9
MyDamnBlogOPTiana | 21 | HRT: 05/22/2017•

I don't even use my deadname either, I just avoid introducing myself lol

5
egg-faultLaura - aa's 5-11-18•

Get your DCI name changed before the event if you can, they will schedule pairings based on your name in the system. Wotc is really good about name changes :)

8
MyDamnBlogOPTiana | 21 | HRT: 05/22/2017•

I have already :) that was done for me when I signed up for the event :) the dude who did it was super discreet and professional too, he spoke quietly and didn't deadname.

6
FluffyBattleBunny•

Me too I'm taking my teenage son. I debated keeping my make up on after work but yea it's gonna be after midnight. I'm just gonna give 0 fucks.

4
MyDamnBlogOPTiana | 21 | HRT: 05/22/2017•

Sadly my friend I usually go with is at school, as well as my girlfriend, so... I am going all on my own. Straight hair cause it feels nice and helps me pass, but no make up. Best of luck, let's go represent!!

4
CynthiaKittyMtF | 30 | HRT Dec 22 2016•

I'm going to the ones in tomorrow, I know most of the people that will be there though and they are pretty supportive, everyone already knows me as Kat (changed my mind from Cynthia a long time ago) as well which is nice! I wish you luck! You can do this!

3
C-H-Addicttransbian, 30, my boobs just turned 5yo•

I don't play because its too expensive a hobby, but I'm friends with many judges and tournament goers. MtG's official judges are almost always really good about dealing with players that misgender you or say misogynist/ transmisogynist things.

You'll be safe there, but can't stop them from starting at you though, stopping a nerdy guy from staring at a cute girl is just an impossible task

3
IllvyGotta be green, gotta be mean!•

If it's any consolation I actually had a nice experience at my last prerelease. Good luck to you!!

2
Kira2897•

Ah girl, I want to go to the pre release event, but I have my kids tonight please post on how it went.

2
toks0tis•

As a judge, any transphobic comments or slurs are not tolerated at all. Please dont feel as though you have to put up with any kind of behavior like that at a mtg event and make sure to call a judge if it happens. If you're not comfortable speaking in front of your opponent, say can I talk to you about a card interaction away from the table?

2
TooLateForMeTF•

Tell them all your name is Black Lotus and they'll be all over you...

1
Hi_Im_Teagantrans-poly-pan-Leather lady (or TPPLL for short)•

Me “Hi I’m Teagan”

Her “Hi I’m Black Lotus”

Me “well you’re definitely a PSA gm 10...” ^ok ^^I’ll ^^^leave ^^^^now

3
PomatoChan32 / MtF / 4.20.18 HRT erryday•

I have a hard enough time getting over my social anxiety to go to Magic at all, even though it’s one of my biggest hobbies. You go girl!

1
toks0tis•

I didn't play mtg this weekend, but I dropped by my local game store for another game and the amount of female identifying players was at an all time high. I hope you had a great weekend!

1