A Discourse on Divorce

A Discourse on Divorce  

Today I heard some news.
It gave me the blues and the reds:
I was ready to blow off some heads.
 

It was the kind of news that stings,
Not like the prick of a bee, or a shot,
I mean stinging, burning, corrosive, hot.
 

Tears didn't come, neither did remorse,
I didn't know how to feel and I didn't want to force.
How does a kid deal with his parents' divorce?
 

I saw it coming some miles away,
Specifically I saw it that one spring day
When I was on my way home with my mom.
 

"Is dad your soulmate?" I said to her in the car.
"No," she said. "But that's okay."
I didn't know quite what to say.
 

If my parents aren't soulmates then what am I
But a kid born out of boredom and a ritual
They felt obliged to fulfill? And for why?
 

I'm like a bouquet starting to wilt,
I'm like painting with a gray, scraggly brush;
Maybe I'm something, but I'm really not much.
 

Some of my friends have parents still together...
I wonder how they managed to weather
The sea and the storm and the ship my parents couldn't.
 

I think about having a family...
I tell myself I wouldn't.
 

Maybe one day I'll meet that person.
I can see them in my head.
They'll be all the things I think of before I go to bed.
 

Attractive of course, and funny and sweet,
A real package of brains and hair and meat.
He won't mind cleaning for me or rubbing my feet,
 

And hopefully neither will I.
He'll be smart, but not smarter than me,
At least not in English, psych, history...
 

Hopefully math will be his thing.
If someone's going to wear my ring,
They better not be swayed when they hear someone sing.
 

But I've never met a guy
Who I thought could be as independent as I,
And could separate their brain from their heart.
 

I want to be married, I want that joint-hip,
It seems so nice to have that friendship
Where you're mentally connected without having to quip...
 

Hmm.
 

One or two.
Me by myself, but also with you.
 

I think that's how it just is,
No matter how close to a person you get,
It's still only you inside your head.
 

I like it that way;
Inside myself I have a lot to say,
Maybe that's why my mom admitted dad wasn't her soulmate that day.
 

There's no one else for her but her,
There's no one else for me but me,
Of course it would be nice to wake up every day and see
 

The eyes of a person looking only for me...
But then what kind of person is that?
I meet someone divine and I throw in the hat?
 

I really don't want that.
I don't need someone dragging me down,
Don't need three kids running around,
 

Don't need giant regrets in the form of a human
Which are unshakable, unattachable and scarily human.
I think that's the scariest thought in the world...
 

To have a baby and wake up one day whirled
Into a pool of unfathomable shame and regret.
I think I'll stick with a cat-pet.
 

Maybe I sound morose,
Maybe I seem a bit sad,
But today I'm actually glad that
My mom is divorced with my dad.
 

Omni_____ | two