Identity

The mirrors image used to reflect my pain back at me.

Back when I had a conscience and a shred of empathy.

Why is it so easy to hurt the ones I love.

It's like the excuses I hide behind help me rise above.

Rise beyond the horrible things I've done.

My petty justifications while feeling totally numb.



I AM UGLY! 



There's no other word for me.

Other than maybe a parasite.

I cling to a host and then I bite. 

And shouldn't it at least make me cry

How with one bite I suck them dry

The ones who saw the best in me

Not my true self but the mask they see.

Behind my masks you chose to see is my twisted personality.



I AM SCUM!



Both fragile and yet very numb.

Is numb the right word to use?

I hate myself and self abuse.

Surely that means I take some blame?

A real bad person wouldn't feel this pain

And it's okay to be a narcissist.

Because in this world we are all there is



I AM JUSTIFYING!



And it feels as though my soul is dying.

If justification are untrue.

It's become so easy to hurt you to.

And you to see my true form fills me with such terror.

But why doesn't it hurt anymore when I look in the mirror?

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8g4uxp/a_discourse_on_divorce/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8g5lpl/some_days/