at least we won a tv and a keurig

when i looked at you i saw the pain more
clearly than ever and it burnt a hole through me.
i saw how it formed in your chest, a small green bulb that
grew with the help of those who’ve watered it like sadistic gardeners with bloody rubber gloves and high fructose syrup sweat.

your nails sparkled like the glitter underneath your
eyes illuminated by the five a.m. moon.
the pale glow of the stars outlined someone created by
the ghost of michaelangelo up in the yellow clouds
of heaven.

i could swear the scars were visible on your irises.
i was struck with the jarring realization that no one saw through the
contacts hanging loosely from your cornea or
through your thick clear glasses that i always loved so much.

we took the long way home at five am because the gate was locked
and i would’ve booked plane tickets to los angeles
right then and there if i could.

i would’ve held you the whole plane ride,
my hands through your newly blonde hair and my
lips leaving a trail down your cheekbone
and i’d tell you that our lives were just beginning because
they really are but they take it from you
like you’re job and we’re living in
a twisted, godless version of the old testament.

you collapsed into me like a marble sculpture from the top of
a beautifully decorated italian restaurant down in rome.
i could feel the tears on my shoulders being mopped up
by a loosely fitting nintendo 64 pacsun shirt and i held you
closer to me than bone marrow.

i prayed to the newly-awake sesame seed colored birds
and asked them to make my love a tsunami that could
envelop you entirely and transfer the pain to me.
the molecules could serve as noble martyrs.

i wonder when you’ll see the love and attraction
you bring to the table.
the way your timid laugh booms through the air,
forcing the electrons in the deep oak to shake,
electrocuting all who dare stand too close.

i drove away and cried to myself
because i’ve never had a love in which i felt
another person’s pain.
that’s how i know it’s real but in that
car i swore to every living being on this
planet that i’d protect you because
when i see you i see my future
and i know because i always thought my
future was the brightest part of me

so i
can’t
lose
you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8hisww/nightingale/ https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/8hfp2s/just_a_poem_about_my_dad/dyk9ke3/