How older folk say how life gets harder and harder but then when you mention being suicidal (partially because of that exact reason, this part is hard enough why would I want it to get harder), suddenly life is all rainbows and sunshine and "everything gets better"
Posted May 9, 2018, 5:15 PM UTC
Or the classic "someone has it worse than you do" nonsense they go on about. Seems kinda messed up to bring a kid into the world knowing how much crap they have to endure.
r/antinatalism would agree with that last sentiment, and so do I.
You should reply that MANY people in the world have it equally better than you do and so that point could reinforce how you feel.
It's called the fallacy of relative privation
oh good, well now I'm feeling sorry for all the poor sods that have it worse
Well I’m one of these older folk but I certainly don’t go round saying “everything gets better” because I know damn well it doesn’t, necessarily.
I should probably clarify 'some' older folk, I understand not everyone is like that. I wish people physically there for me in my life were the same haha :)
This is true. Another response they might say is something about being too young to be suicidal. I don't understand this, wanting to die doesn't be linked to any specific age.
your feelings aren't real because of x
I have heard similar statements by the people I meet IRL, and yes, this bothers me as well. It seems like people are just hypocrites and while I never mention being 'suicidal' IRL (too risky and dangerous to say it), they often spew bullshit platitudes.
ill have conversations with my dad where he'll just unendingly talk about how life is suffering, but when i finally ask why he decided to have me if that's what life's all about he'll just say "that's not what i mean". It makes me feel more suffocated than angry because even helping him to find the error in his thinking wont make me unborn.
I've mostly heard life gets better. Also that the beginning and the end are the happiest
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They obviously mean the increasing responsibility makes things harder but the way you cope and learn to stop caring about what isn't important and valuing different things, gets easier.
coping is basically one's ability to lie to oneself
Not denying it or posting an opinion, just that it's obvious to me what is meant with the two statements. They don't contradict each other. Life gets harder as you grow older but difficult times can get easier. That's all they mean.
I think a lot of older people who say what the OP mentioned look at younger people with bias, and insinuate that they don't understand pain or hardships as they do.
yes
in my case, i know people who advocate caring for others and kindness yet tend to write off your problems as being over emotional in a condescending way. They always seem to vocalise their own thoughts, problems and opinions and expect us to sympathise with them, but indirectly mock us and belittle what we are going through. I just don't associate myself with these people anymore, some are relatives so i just distance myself. I find that i just noticed overall that i know a lot of adults who are insensitive, manipulative, judgemental, hypocritical and not as self aware as they think they are. I feel like we are just in a culture that promotes superficial encouragement anyway though. I don't really care anymore even though I really did in the past, I already have enough problems as it is why do i have to let these people add to my burdens. If theres anything i've learned today, its that there are people who care, there are people who dont and there are people who think they do but really dont. I won't view adults in the god-like manner I did as a child anymore (due to childhood traumas haha)
I don't think life gets harder as you get older . I'm 62 and although I'd rather LOOK 20 again, I'd never want to BE 20 again.
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Exhausting myself with the necessary effort with less payoff is depressing as fuck and not worth it to me.
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Would you rather have a hard life, or an easy life?
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No one has a meaningful life. There’s no inherent “meaning” in anything.
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Preferably, I would have both. If I could only choose one... I'd probably choose the pleasurable one. Generally, the reason I care about my life being "meaningful" is because the knowledge of having what I consider to be a meaningful life would give me some sort of pleasure. If it doesn't, then what's the point?
Trick question. Neither of those things are easy. Pleasure has to keep being chased. Meaning tends to require one to think and act in certain rigid ways. Better to be unconscious.
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Because it isn't pleasant.
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YES! I have heard this many times! You lament about life being so difficult, and people agree, and sympathise, then you mention not wanting to live, and they just instantly change! It's almost like you're violating a contract, or something? People constantly say "Sure, life is hard, but what can we do? We just have to live it as best we can!" Well, no, actually, we don't...
As a concept, the idea of suicide is a viral existential threat. And people fight it like one, perhaps fairly.
Quite possibly true, but why is is a threat? If you're happy and content, why is suicide a threat to you? The answer is that it shouldn't be.