Cracks - A rough first draft (possibly will become a song)

There are these moments, like gaps between the bliss of my days

Where a sudden fear traps me in a cold dark cage

Through torture and panic, I clutch to fading optimism

Hoping and waiting for your love to resolve my cataclysm

Facing uncertainty, my faith diminished, I've lost all hope

My mind is defeated but my heart won't let go

I'm trying, my love, I'm fighting so hard

But I'm dying inside; I'm falling apart

Collapsed is my ego, no more pride or independence

Relapsed is my soul, nothing makes any sense

The war wages on, as the cracks in my face grow deeper

Somebody save me before my pain climbs even steeper

Nightmares are now my heroine, the evil of craving more

I'm scared to let you in, this darkness I now abhor

Trembling, I take up my only solution to an end

Screaming, I wake up to find it in my hand

An act comes to a close as I blink away the tears

A destiny I've composed to escape my hidden fears

I didn't fire this time, but it wasn't due to strength

A failure in my design: I'm just not quite that brave

"Put down the gun," a voice whispers inside

"Come out of the shadows, you no longer need to hide"

Reluctant, I comply, though I can't explain why

Incumbent, I try to simply rationalize

No conclusion, no answers, just a burning desire

To escape from these fears, and put out this fire

Girl, what did you do to me? I'm a weak little child

You know that you've depleted me and cast me out in the wild

You'll never know that pain of my deepest secrets

Another heart breaks in vain, driven by suicidal regrets

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