[898] Untitled Child POV Attempt

This is my attempt to write a child's POV. I think a child's naivety is a fun tool that can be used to introduce the reader to mysteries (like here). Now with that said, this is my first attempt- and it is probably pretty rough.

Some of the issues are probably choices on my part- such as the lack of setting, simplified descriptions, repeated adjective use (nasty). But if they don’t work- let me know.

One issue i know i have is repetitive sentence structure. In this somewhat action heavy piece it was hard for me to limit the "She did..." variant. If you see ways to improve on this, and have examples, that would be really helpful.

Read Here: <link retracted for editing>

Critique Here: 4078: Petals

Afterward: The 'evil doll' is an overused trope. Did it come across that the doll was not the cause but rather the effect?