I LOVE THIS. i can tell you exactly why: i've had a fascination with haikus since they were taught to me in elementary school. so much in fact that my friends and i would talk in haikus for the whole day which made our fingers tired from trying to count the syllables. bonus points for haiku use. regarding the actual piece, i did not expect that final line but i absolutely adore it because whenever i eat asparagus i also get the same pee smell phenomenon. and it IS intoxicating. smells are just such an ... inviting sense. it doesn't smell GOOD but you still kinda wanna keep wafting it towards you. why? idk. good question. i really like this haiku. 

I appreciate it. I've always liked haikus because it's not just finding rhymes, though it could be, but trying to fit a thought into tight parameters.

I love haikus that have the funny/blunt/random/punchy last line. And this one does it so well, with the first two lines being almost flowery with the adjectives, and then the last line being so blunt and unexpected. Well executed haiku.

Considering haikus are such a simple and easy to create form of poetry, I am genuinely stunned at how enduring your haiku is. The first two lines make you believe that it’s just another haiku, but the last line is both relatable and gives a punchline. This is definitely one of the best haikus I’ve ever seen.

Oh my gosh. This is hysterical. I love when poetry breaks with expectations.

Smell so alluring

It is intoxicating

Asparagus pee


Feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/91uibt/is_it_just_me_or_did_this_starbucks_just_get/e310fte?utm_source=reddit-android

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/91omk4/nihilistic/e310npz?utm_source=reddit-android

Aroma - an original haiku