an apology to friends future and present

If you are my friend. Or end up being my friend,

I will cherish you more than you more than you will ever know.

I will enjoy your company and I hope you will enjoy mine.

I will be grateful every day that I have found someone who enjoys having me around.

Because most of them time I don't even want me around

But if you hurt me.

I'm not always quiet about it.

And I will be quite about a lot of things.

Like the time you borrowed 5 dollars and never gave it back

Or the time you spoiled the ending to firewatch for me.

These things haven't happened yet.

But they might

And I'll mostly likely keep my lips sealed

But if you hurt me in a way that makes me hate myself more than I already do.

I will tell you.

But it won't come out right.

So I'm sorry that I can't communicate

I'm sorry that I am really salty

I'm sorry I can never get my thoughts in line

I'm sorry I'm always a coward.

I'm sorry if I hate you over something trivial

I'm sorry if I let you get away with some bullshit

Because one wrong step and all of a sudden the world is my enemy.

One wrong step and the line between friend and foe gets a little too blurry.

One wrong step and I'll throw myself into a tornado of emotions that I can't get out of.

Which is why I'm sorry if some days I'm numb.

I'm sorry if some days I'm too loud

I'm sorry if some days I'm too quiet.

I'm sorry if some days I make everyone around me sad.

I'm sorry if some days I get too cocky.

I'm sorry if some days the only thing I can talk about is video games because I need to escape reality for a day.

I'm sorry If I can't tell you what needs to be said in person

Because if it's in person I'll stumbled over my words and you'll never take me seriously.

And you won't always be the one hurting me.

I have too high expectations

I have low self esteem

I won't be able to read your emotions most days

And if we even get that far in the friendship your gonna have to deal with a year of me only being able to talk to you through text.

I'm sorry that I can't be a normal human being

But these are all things I have to say because you're my friend and I care about you.

And sometimes i care so much that it hurts

So i’m sorry if i start acting strange

I’m sorry if i start to distance myself

I’m sorry if i ignore you

I’m sorry if i leave you

I don’t hate you

At least not today i don’t

I’m sorry if today i love you

I’m sorry if tomorrow i hate you

I’m sorry that i can’t make up my mind so i feel the need to distance myself in order to not hurt you or myself.

i love you

i'm sorry.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/92qm9b/what_depression_looks_like_for_me/

:i always have a lot of respect for people who can rhyme because i definitely can't.

this poem is a beautiful representation of what if feels like to be depressed, it's always so easy to fall into this pit of sadness and immobilization. and this poem gets that across beautifully. good job

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/92rlzs/best_friend/

:this poem is short, and straight to the point. i like it. i always tend to write long poems and typically lose my train of thought. this poem tells you like it is. i'm sorry you are struggling with a bad friend. i hope you two can work things out.

(i dont entirely know how people do that thing where they like their critique and its the first one you see when yu click on the link so ill do that for now until i find out how)