Blueberries

[Edited to fix the formatting. I would appreciate any feedback at all. Thank you!]

The blueberries here taste metallic.

Plump, unblemished, and sweet,

they leave a bitter residue under my tongue

that dries to powder

I will forget to swallow.

/

I laugh too hard and hear what must be my voice echo

as I clasp her gold necklace patiently.

It glints irrefutably copper against her skin

The moment it leaves my hands.

She brings a dullness to me, a restlessness

That makes me feel cruel

and I hide my disgust

for her,

for myself.

I watch the doors close behind us and I let them.

/

I notice for the first time how her robes almost reach her ankles

The intimate light casts shadows against her chiseled figure

Hollowing out too much

She looks frail

and brimming with hope.

She breaks my heart.

/

The lines growing around my eyes deceive me.

Unmoved.

I never expected that in my old age,

I would have to remember to smile.

/

I used to roll into slumber like waves crashing clumsily ashore

I would dream of plucking blueberries

From their pendulous vines

Catching their juices in my mouth

Running free through the brambles

Becoming fat and purple-stained.

/

I would dream that I was a blueberry bush.

Calloused farmers' hands on my back

Crushing me under their weight

To expertly pluck me dry

I broke apart so easily

Between their palms.

/

She drapes her leg across mine

Feather-light in sleep

All night I feel her gentle breathing on my chest

Steady and unforgiving.

/

I could stay here with her forever

lulled to my final rest by the smell of

a happiness

I will asymptotically approach.

It could be enough for me if I let it.

/

I close my eyes to to taste a minute of calm,

to wring some sleep

out of what's left of this morning.

I feel the silt on my tongue

of what used to be blueberries.

I taste nothing.

/

Previous feedback:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/951x4n/the_necessary_cups/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/94vrel/secret_drawers/