this poem really struggles to go anywhere for a couple reasons.

first off. there isn't any real development of unique or specific imagery. That doesn't have to be done with complex or highly figurative language, but we don't even get any sort of tangible thing in this poem to latch on to until the ninth line, and it's not exactly an interesting image. What is important to the poem about you staring at your phone? Is it really doing the poem any good to go to that specifically?

I'm also left not really sure what any of this is supposed to do or mean. We only have this very nebulous speaker, who is sitting (but where? why?) and looking (where? why?) and disappointed about a girl (who? why?) and we don't have any reason to care about, honestly, any of these events, because the speaker is undefined, as are the other characters, and the interactions are completely vague.

I think to succeed in this piece you need to narrow down your writing significantly. "dark like the sun" is an interes

You say you're waiting for the one,  by saying that I am thinking you have not found anyone yet. So, by comparing a girl to the dark sun, what are you accomplishing by saying that? to me it did not make sense. Are you saying she is dark like the sun because a dark sun does not exist and neither does she? Or did you just want to complete a simple rhyme with sun and one?

Then, you look all over and see disappointment, and "this girl" but I do not have any clue where "this girl" came from or who/what she is. Why do you feel disappointed? 

So now I get this is tinder, and now a girl is supposed to text you. And you say she's beautiful, is the only thing that makes a girl "the one" is how beautiful she is? hmm. I think the end line is very weak too, there is nothing for me to see, it adds nothing to anything other than it just being there to rhyme with text. You also meet her after saying you're waiting for her to text, which to also makes very little sense to me.

I think the poem was sh

Ah man, there was a flow to this I appreciated so much. Very subtle, natural sounding rhyme/poetry. This was a good, somber read. Looking forward to more drops by you. This got me all kinds of sad, but, that's life. Thank you for sharing.

I sit here

Waiting for the one

She’s no where to be found

Yet dark like the sun

I look all over

I see disappointment 

This girl wasn’t the one

So I leave her lonely 

As I stare into my phone 

Waiting for her text

I meet a beautiful girl

Let us see what’s next

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/954h1m/comment/e3q2db9?st=JKIREGPN&amp;sh=da165ee8

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9549ld/comment/e3q2hmv?st=JKIRGPMA&amp;sh=5bb027b6

The One