56 Delusional Street (first-timer) [Feedback Request]

56 Delusional Street, the queue here it starts

Please stand behind the cowboy astronaut,

and the so called musician, Avant Garde,

Sweeping his Van Halen air guitar

//

But where are the one you were supposed to impress

Sitting at the back of a Supermarine Sea Lion

holding your perfectly shaken cosmopolitan

roaring over your head towards the African sunset

//

57 Delusional Street, sat the wise homeless man

trying to convince you to focus on the present

but you never too care to listen

Through a strange tree hole you were driven.

//

Please slow the f down cos here is the place

where the imp piloting your brain

will be removed and sent to space

On the fastest rocket ship ever

Then you will never be bothered

As it will be back to where it belongs

stranded in the void with good old Major Tom.

//

(For whoever bothered to read and crit, many thanks for your time)

Feedback

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/957m9u/hypocrisy/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/94z8f1/broken_promise/