#15

Find the lord for me,
I can't seem to find him myself.
I can hardly find myself.
What is within myself?
I am beside myself,
This peace,
A piece of chaos.
I'm losing myself.
Can't seem to define myself.
Lost within myself.
Dying, choking, crying, begging,
Fearing for myself,
Afraid of that which
You have said I should not fear!
Dying quietly,
Blushing dryly,
Lost and dying.
Tell me to believe in myself.
I dare, how dare you?
I need to find myself
Within myself
To define myself.
I look up at the shelf.

A notebook.
Yes, a notebook.
It's obvious.
I wonder how I was so oblivious.
Write, type, put it down,
Read it back.
Understand.
Read it back.
Myself.
Read it back.
Pen to the page.
Read it back.
Hope for more.
Read it back.
Write it down.
Read it back.
I move the led.
Read it back.
Find the lord for me,
I can't seem to find him myself.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/99h6k4/through_the_doorway/e4oimb2/

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/99l072/i_could_kill_for_a_coffee/e4oiejm/