ALONE

8/5/2018

"Alone"

Never have I understood

Why and how I ever could

Feel so painfully alone

When I came from such a loving home.

_

Never have I felt the spark,

Understanding mutually.

Never have I left the dark,

Forever locked in intellectually.

_

Why can’t I ever feel belonging?

Why can’t I ever feel at peace?

Who? Where? Just what am I missing?

A nagging feeling that won’t cease.

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I love my mother, bless her heart.

I love my father, though we’ve grown apart.

My family loves me, and I Iove them.

So why do I feel so condemned?

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Why am I always so distant?

Why can’t I just feel complete?

Why do I miss something missing?

Why is a smile such a feat?

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None of this makes any sense.

I have, I truly have, a happy life.

So, then, why aren’t I ever happy?

It’s like I’ve tasted paradise.

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Forever listless, my soul remembers,

What it is to truly feel.

But why don’t I have memory

That would inspire such a zeal?

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It’s like I’m living as a fragment,

Forever painfully aware,

Though I’ve forgotten what it was,

Of the beauty that was there.

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So I sit, suffering, alone,

Because my heart just isn’t here.

Forever looking for my home,

Running from my lonely fear.

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I miss that which I can’t recall,

But the feeling is still there.

I know what it is to truly love,

But existence isn’t fair.

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So I live a happy lie.

I put on a happy mask.

Just as my family deserves,

I try to find joy in every task.

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But it has always been so hard.

I ache for something I can’t find.

I want to be happy, all for them.

But I can’t lie to my own mind.

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I’m afraid, deep down, of being forever

Cursed to never really see.

How can I ever come to terms,

When I’m sure I’m not all of me?

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So I’m Alone with my empty feelings,

Alone with my pre-broken heart.

I’m Alone and incomplete,

And I’ve been Alone right from the start.

_

But I don’t want to die unfinished.

I only want to find myself.

I don’t want to die Alone.

Just like everybody else.

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FEEDBACK:

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