The Absence of ______.

Here is something i wrote last night. I could use some feedback just generally on what you guys get from it, how you receive it, what you think it may be alluding to or what exactly it means. i know its got more meaning than i am fully able to articulate so any insight from my fellow poets would be well received- even if it’s just to tell me to quit writing ;) be mean if you want, or not! I don’t mind.. i would love any sort of feedback!

---

It’s very still, the air here.

The fog on my window sets benevolently..

--As it should be setting.

The leaves consider flinching in the light breeze..

--Before reconsidering

I’m caked on before i even knew i was icing.

I’m a lake of sugary mulch and I’m much too

Proud to be eaten.

But none the less a silver fork comes down

Scooping up my arm and leg,

--Despite my attempts to deter it--

And grazes up through the vast heavens to plop me

Down right on the tongue of god himself.

Who chews.. slowly.

Just to spit me back out with disgust.

——-

For today, at least, ill stay.

Satisfied and bemused

And deliciously moot.

Concavely iridescent and powdered

To boot.

I’m cavalier, like cavalry riding camels on canoes,

I’m Spider-Man, but bitten by grasshoppers

And one half an octaroon, not arachnids,

Not an eight legged web weaving jellyfish.

Cantankerous cant taker this

My words aren’t making sense

I’m capable, I’m learning quick

Ill lay it on real thick:

——

always be your best.

If not for yourself, for her.

——-

For whomever is learning from your example

Whoever cocks their head up to look at you with wonderment

With wonder meant for stars.

——-

Distraught as one may be

less they never show it on their face;

Let it be heard in the quivering of their voice

or felt from the absence of _______

——-

The absence of _______

---

Thanks so so so so much

Z

---

Also here is the feedback i gave:

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9h063o/comment/e68o5d3?st=JM8QDJLD&sh=f8153772

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/9gzy0t/comment/e68on72?st=JM8QFPXU&sh=593ed799