[5059] Libations, Wine-Dark

[Here's the piece!] (https://docs.google.com/document/d/1DW6FxHXauYdGqPJjC9UKBiDYTbBuiDZxnK28CvUGtL0/edit?usp=sharing)

Hi all! I know the word count on this one is lengthy compared to this sub's average, but it's a story that really can't be broken up into two submissions. I'm not asking for line edits (although if you really want to, knock yourself out).

I'm hoping to get an overall critique, but I'm especially interested on what you think of the atmosphere and tone. The first half is almost all narration and the second half is almost all dialogue, but I still want the story to feel cohesive. I tried to manage that with lots of repetition, and by echoing in reverse in the second half the beats I established in the first, but I'm worried it feels too repetitive. I want all of this to increase the tense atmosphere over the course of the piece, not bore the reader. Is the echoing too overt, not overt enough?

Also, I know I used somewhat flowery and unusual punctuation and syntax; does it come across as distracting and pretentious or does it work in this context? Purple or nah?

Any feedback at all would be great, really, on these or any other elements of the piece. I've been working on it for too long and I'm having a hard time stepping back from it now.

EDIT: marked it nsfw because there's some shcary imagery (hopefully, anyway...), adult themes, and blood/gore.

Critique links:

Adam Reborn vs Toe the Giant, 4676

Necrosavant, Chapter 1, 2374