[4533] Virgin Dawn: Chapter 2 (Judgement)

Hello Destructive Reader,

I wrote a short story titled Virgin Dawn that I'd like some feedback on. The genre is high fantasy and heroic romance. It's about six chapters, and totals to about 25k words. I posted Chapter 1 last week, which was more of a set-up. Chapter 2 actually introduces the main protagonist.

Chapter 2 is NSFW, contains both bloody violence AND a slight amount of explicit, sexual content.

Here's a teaser:

It is a time before the formation of the Devlani Royal Resistance. Aria Schezobraska has returned to the capital city of Devlan, back to the army that she had so long deserted. When James Stromiskar catches word that she might be in danger, he disguises himself and sneaks into the city of his hateful father, to find Aria before it is too late.

Read Virgin Dawn: Chapter 2 Here

Feel free to leave comments in the doc.

List of Critiques: The Tower of Elen, Adam Reborn vs Toe the Giant