Really bad.... But there are no gender neutral bathrooms anywhere I go and I feel like even touching the door to the women's bathroom will get me arrested and the men's room will get me beat up.
38 years of mental training that if I go into a women's bathroom I'm a freak and pervert and now it's actually worse as a non passing mtf, even if my outfit it cute
Posted Oct 19, 2018, 5:02 PM UTC
Hardware stores, bigger grocery stores and Walmats often have "Family" restrooms which tend to be single-occupancy rooms. Also, truckstops with showers have toilet facilities in the shower room and if you ask the drivers around you should be able to find one willing to let you use the shower. (Also useful if you, you know, need to shower.)
go to a gas station they got single stalls there or in the back of walmart?
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Assuming you are mtf you should go in the men's room if there's no option for you. You won't get beaten up, people will just pee and get on with their days.
https://www.refugerestrooms.org/ - they help map out gender neutral restrooms. Maybe there's one near you you haven't noticed. Also, as you find more in your area, add them to the list for others.
When peeing turns into a survival journey...
That makes me mad that we end up like this because some transphobs preach hate bullshit about restrooms when the only thing trans people wish to do is just pee in a closed stall and get out asap.
The shitty thing is, this is literally exactly the same as what black people went through prior to the Civil Rights Movement. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Negro_Motorist_Green_Book was published 1936 to 1966 during peak Jim Crow era because black people literally could not travel across the south and be able to find places to eat or fill their gas or sleep in a hotel.
Except the rationale for us is that "we choose to be this way". Such a load of horseshit.
Thanks. Sadly im on the road and it's all unfamiliar territory. I'll check out the site next time. Ended up going all the way back to the hotel and skipping lunch.
Oh jeez, the other response about Starbucks is perfect. They are publicly in support of trans people so for sure management shouldn't have crap to say if you dropped in to use the bathroom, and anyone who bitched would basically just have to friggin suck it up and deal with it.
Target, though gendered in my area, is switching to gender neutral. They are also lgbt friendly.
I like going to bathrooms in Starbucks, most of them are single stall and they're usually non-gendered.
That's good advice as well, didn't think about that but there also wasn't one in view at the time hahah. I'm just starting to be out full tjme so there is a learning curve and built in terror all around lol. Most people have been fine and I live in very liberal Maryland but having to use a bathroom without fear of discrimination or harassment or heck being attacked is suddenly a huge part of my world view. How this could even be a thing is so absurd but there you go. I need to plan my days around where I feel safe using bathrooms.