My Christmas Tradition
Short background: My ex-mother-in-law used to wrap gifts that were like works of art. Beautiful with bows, ribbons, raffia, flowers, whatever she thought looked nice. Every year, my ex-husband used to complain that he couldn't get his gift unwrapped because she used so much tape that he couldn't get his finger in through the wrapping paper.
I always thought this was a bit rude, considering it was his own mother, and she put forth a lot of effort and time to wrap pretty presents for us. I do not wrap gifts this extravagantly, but every year when I ship his gift to him from the children, I make sure there is no way he can easily slide his finger through the paper to unwrap his. I tape the fuck out of it. For his wife, I just wrap her gift normally.
This gives me a bit of wicked glee during the holiday season as I imagine his annoyance at unwrapping his gift, with his wife sitting there with her gift in her lap already. I've been doing this for few years, and today I had to share with someone who would understand and appreciate :)
Posted Dec 15, 2018, 9:28 PM UTC
You could combine this with something my Nanna used to do. She didn't want her presents to be easily identifiable so she would wrap the gift, then place it in a bigger strange shaped box and wrap it again.
See how many layers of impenetrable tape you can create.
Ok Satan.
We have one of those every year in my family. Thankfully I have never been the recipient, because that would only piss me off. It's nbn usually my brother or my sister's boyfriend.
Yes, for the record, I'm a grinch.
I am Satan, I say, if you haven't used an entire roll of gorilla tape and 50 yards of industrial plastic wrap, you haven't properly sealed the gift behind the gates of hell yet.
I once sent a nine-layer parcel, each layer covered in parcel tape, and with a warning the gift in the middle was delicate. In the centre was a promise the gift would be in the next parcel.
demonic cackling
I REMEMBER! I have prepared a place of honor for you in my depths, you shall be my right hand when your day comes.
My best friend actually was OG Satan when he took the opportunity of dropping his brother off at the airport to bring his Secret Santa Christmas gift with him and use the suitcase wrapping station to basically seal that fucker for the apocalypse.
I had to open that bitch with a chef knife
Santa is just Satan spelled wrong.
I once saw someone open a gift that had plastic wrap wrapped around it so much that the layer was like 3 inches thick. It took them almost 10 minutes to open it.
thermal lance*
would have taken about 3 seconds.
I do this as well as wrapping several layers of newspaper under the wrapping paper. I use lots of tape on the newspaper and wrapping paper so my husband can’t peek! He’s like s little kid at Christmas, but I love that man!!
My dad used to do that to us, but he would always put a brick in one of the boxes. One year he got creative and had 10 layers of boxes in boxes and then the gift was hiding in the closet.
I once Russian nesting dolled a gift card from a tiny box all the way to a washing machine box for a good friend just to screw with him.. Took him an hour and a half to get the gift card.
Lol i hope he bought himself something nice with it after all that effort.