Source
r/Stoicism•
StrNotSize

Remembering to be grateful

I'm having a rough time of it. Work has been incredibly tedious, unfulfilling and insipid lately. My side business feels like it's lost its path and meaning. I discovered a bedbug infestation in my house. Not only am I nearly gagging in revulsion every time I think about it, but my house is being turned upside down, all of my routines are disrupted. I also don't know how it happened and am terrified that it will happen again. My kid is doing what teenagers do and being kind of an insufferable jerk. And to top it off my nose is minorly fractured so I need to take some time off of my sport and working out to let it properly heal.

My mind is all over the place. I'm drinking too much. I'm short with people. I'm not sleeping well. My personal and professional productivity is taking a nose dive. Everything is terrible. Except all of these problems are not, really that big, so I need just suck it up, put the big boy pants on and deal with it without wallowing in self pity dealing with my lame first world problems. But that isn't what I'm doing. Why am I not handling all of this.

And just as I was feeling peak self-pity, I walked past my co-worker's empty desk on the way to my desk. It's empty today because he and his wife are burying their young daughter today. And I remembered how amazingly lucky I am. In so many ways. And even if things get worse. Because they will. I am still. So. Lucky. I have so much to be grateful for. For what I have. For what I've had so far. For the opportunities I might have in the future. My problems are problems and instead of beating myself up about it, I can be grateful.

And going forward, I will try to do a better job of remembering that. I hope that you do too.

Posted Mar 5, 2019, 3:15 PM UTC

11913
The_Badger_•

I am right there with you my friend. Thank you for the reminder. Stay strong and be well.

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StrNotSizeOP•

I appreciate that. You too.

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revowanderlust•

Hey man I hope you take the time to hang out with your coworker, maybe help take both your minds off of things. No rush, the world will keep spinning, remember to be present and to be actively mindful of when you start future tripping on stuff that happened in the past! Both of you can come out on top, and remember it’s always okay to ask for a helping hand.

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StrNotSizeOP•

That's good advice. I'd sort of been at a loss for what to do or say. How do you comfort someone who has lost so much? You don't. But maybe I can take his mind off of it for an hour or two. Solid suggestion. Thank you.

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JanovichDayZ•

Good luck man, thanks for sharing. Fix those bedbugs and get good rest!

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KnowsTheLaw•

That sounds hard. I try to say 'Thanks for everything (gratefulness) I have nothing to complain about whatsoever.' When I feel like complaining to myself.

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Prokopton2•

Hi there!

Gratitude is indeed a powerful feeling. However, I do not think you need to beat yourself up if you cannot find it in yourself at some point in time. In my opinion, you do not have a duty to feel grateful.

An indispensible Stoic idea is that people are not disturbed or joyful by events themselves, but by their judgements about them. I do not know how much you know of Stoicism, but if you feel up to it, you might ask yourself at some point why you feel the way you do, why you judge something as bad, what your value judgements are.

Best wishes from me!

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SigSeikoSpyderco•

One year from now, on March 5th 2020, you will read this reddit post and think "Wow, I sure had a ton on my plate then, and look how it all sorted itself out. I really can handle just about anything."

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Mrbasie•

I know how tough it is. Been there. You may have the money but can't find peace. Hang in there.. Solve them a day at a time

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nappy5727•

I tend to dwell on the bad and should be more grateful myself. There is always somebody that has it worse. Try to carve out an hour for yourself and make it back to the gym, you will always leave feeling better.

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Motor-boat•

I've come to think of saying "thanks" as a verbal micropayment. Use it, but be careful not to put yourself in debt.

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echoedfart14•

We all have something to be grateful for and good for you man to realize this. My neighbor was in a car accident recently, paralyzed from the waste down. They build a huge ramp connected to his porch so he can enter his home.

I see the ramp everyday and imagine if it were me. I count my blessings, someone is always going thought something worse.

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yst111•

There's a good quote by Daniel Kahneman:

"Nothing in life is as important as you think it is while you are thinking about it."

​

It always pays to take a step back and see how these little things fit into the wider picture. You'll see how insignificant they are in the grand scheme of things.

​

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