A Clarification from u/Thomki
So, I reached out to u/Thomki, who sent me screenshots with their side, and said it could be posted here.
This is in response to the thread in Letters: https://www.reddit.com/r/LetterstoJNMIL/comments/b9p3gk/a_concept_will_exist_independent_of_its_location/
Where mod DJStrongthenkill stated (ping removed):
>While I know the full circumstances of thomki’s ban, I am unable to fully disclose what happened because it’s not my information to share. What I can share is that a mod was doxxed and had to leave a very dangerous domestic situation because of it. Thomki repeatedly lied about their interaction with said mod in order to make themself a martyr. Trust me, I’ve seen the screenshots. u/FineCaramel was kind enough to leave the mod’s name out of it but the same could not be said to thomki and a couple others. Even saying that it rhymes with something else is not okay.
We take safety very seriously.
So, an accusation without proof. Here's what Thomki sent
me:
https://i.imgur.com/lSJmZ8j.jpg,
https://i.imgur.com/unYXBVW.jpg,
https://imgur.com/a/mkW3QuR,
https://imgur.com/a/CeCyYPn
Pretty sure if the mods have proof of Thomki doxxing anyone, they can provide redacted screenshots. Thomki has provided their side, but they're now perma-banned and muted.
Without proof, that is unacceptable.
Posted Apr 5, 2019, 6:34 PM UTC · edited
I did not yell at Kater. That is not the kind of person I am.
Good lord u/OnMyWorkComputer, I'm so sorry you got scapegoated. That's not fair to you at all.
Seems the mods over there are doing A LOT of accusations with 0 proof. It's infuriating. I'm sorry.
I want to defend myself with proof, because it's a big part of who I am that I try so hard to be polite and kind even when ragefully angry, so here is a screenshot of the conversation in question (with parts have been redacted because they include personal and medical information). There is nothing after the last message shown because I stopped talking to her at that point and have not since. https://imgur.com/GrwFMFk
Nickname retained after you are clearly upset with them. - see everything is fine.
Continues attempting to talk to you after you say you're not interested. -I'll apologize (non specific) again. Things are fine.
Makes a woe is me attempt. - you have to talk to me so everything will be fine, this is hard on me.
You are a very strong person to have treated this as calmly as you did.
It's literally a copy paste of how my MIL dealt with my husband being upset with her...
I'm not sure I understand the context. Is this what the other mod is saying about you "yelling at them"? And this is the actual conversation?
The conversation I screencapped is what that mod is characterizing as me yelling at them.
This the level of transparency we need. To see the communications with appropriate redactions.
So this Mod who accused you of ‘shouting’ at them always plays the victim. She’s says sorry quickly with no back up in action. I had noted that in previous modgate issue (when Lurlur left) she was called out for her own behavior and expressed her apologies and wished to do better. It seems she either failed or those words were fake. Either way her words are hollow.
Also, as shown in u/thomki’s and u/OnMyWorkComputer’s messages with the said mod, we can see she’s also engaged in triangulations and misinformation. The very thing Labida and Vorik have been accused of resulting in them no longer being mods. I don’t think this Mod in question should ever be reinstated to do Mod related duties that they clearly are not prepared or capable of.
To reiterate we have fake apologies, playing the victim, triangulation, misinformation and libel. Very JustNo behavior here.
If that is you yelling at them they should be glad I don't mod. I am way rougher with words, even when I am being polite.
The accusations that have been thrown at me are, as far as I can tell, much the same. Offering carefully-thought out advice that addresses the elephant in the room is stigmatized as bullying or shaming, and they have screenshots but won't share. I've always responded to feedback with the intention of improving the situation - but when accusations come without actual context or content, there's nothing you can do to clarify anything.
And that was promised that it wouldn't happen again.
Which is why yet another crisis came up so quickly.
Scapegoating :/
We cant see what goes on behind the scenes so we have to take them at their word.
FWIW they have shown their word is untrustworthy so I believe you