Mostly Strings
I listen to mostly strings music
With simple bass and loud drum in between
Sound that kinda lift you off your feet
Sound that kinda drown your heart in deep
A rhythm that moves you to tears
and yet there is hope
There is always hope
In these kind of songs
Like it's from the distance horizon
Even if there is a storm brewing
Even if you are here watching
all alone
This playlist will keep me whole
Like an emotional anchor for my soul
My very own light tower
Usher me in safe
Always pointing me North
Whenever I'm lost
I know I just need a little listen
To find my way home
To find some simple reason
The strength to keep moving on.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/bhkslg/solitary_confinement/
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/bhrwf4/to_buzzfeed/
Posted May 2, 2019, 2:26 AM UTC
honestly I enjoyed this poem a lot, but I would use stronger language at the beginning. I'm truely not an expert, but I feel the "kinda" ends up interrupting the .. flow? Or message I guess? That you are going for.
Also, I think having plurality for the sound at the beginning (so just saying sounds) and removing the s in strings would help with the reading and grammer.
But overall I could feel the message conveyed, and really related to in recent days.
Thanks, I like to convey a sense of uncertainty or vagueness whenever you heard something beautiful but can’t really grasp what it is or why.
Okay, I feel that even without the quantifier "kinda" it does give that feeling of beauty that moves you. Again, not an expert so you can take it with a grain of salt, but the "kinda" feels a bit redundant to me while reading it. I hope this helps =)
I think most of the experts in poetry are mostly dead and buried.....or pretty old to still give a damn. All that we have now is instinct, shadow and maybes. So don’t feel that you need to be an expert in expressing your honest opinion. We all have our 2 cents worth.