Poetry- my exploration of me

Format: 4 stanzas of 6 lines, 8 in the finale. Free verse.
Rhyming: sporadic, but tasteful

Overall, it feels like a progression over the four stanzas. For each stanza the rhyme and rythm develops. The last stanza is defenitely the highlight in poetic language, but the preceding parts also brings some personality to the poem as a whole.

Shall I dissect each stanza? I shall!

###1st stanza

An interloper-

Not always wanted,

But needed.

An interruption,

Of the flow of negativity.

This is what poetry is to me

Starts of in short language, but conversational tone. The linebreaks and punctuation really smoothly guides the flow here.

The beauty here is that it is not drawn out too long..

It's prosey introduction to the poem; all well and short.

L4 clicks metaliciously with the abrupt statement and its meaning.

###Second stanza

A connector-

Moving thoughts.

Marrying ideas.

An understanding,

Of the maze only I see.

This is what poetry is to me

I like the flow here with the lightly increasing line lengths. This gives a feeling of movement.

Stressed syllables/syllable counts are:
1/4, 2/3, 2/5, 1/5, 2/8, 3/9

Then of course we have the repeating format of the first line, that's a comfortable consistency.

The repeating identical last line is not so interesting, it's quite prosaic, but does serve it's purpose of anchoring (hope that's not a poetry-term for something else) and thus highlighting the general development of the poem as I mentioned above.

It's a little more poetic language here than in the first stanza, with light but fairly concrete images of what goes around in you head. Plus some easy rhymes (is it only me, but isn't 'ideas' also slightly rhyming with 'see' and 'me' ? )

That's the highlights here I think. Luckily it's also short enough not to get bored.

3hird stanza...

An unsealer-

Releasing valves,

Unlocking memories.

A skeleton key,

To memories now set free.

This is what poetry is to me

Now this is stalling and getting boring to me.

The images are concrete but not very interesting.

The rythm is also stalling a bit, after the build up from the previous stanza.

The format is getting trite. The first line is just repetition without a cause.

Nothing really new content wise as well, we got enough to get the idea already.

EDIT: but I must admit I get bored very easily, so don't take me getting bored too universally valid as an opinion

4rth and final stanza!

Poetry-

The conduit of my mind,

Reader of my heart,

And speaker of my soul.

The only way I have found

To understand my labyrinth home.

The only way I can sound

The feel of my cracking dome

OK here we get to the finale: the conclusion.

L1 breaks the pattern in an exciting way.

L2, 3, 4 is a really nice triplet, vivid images and symbolically complete (mind heart soul) . The rythm here is pulsing nicely with 3 3 3 stressed syllables. It's bordering on cliché because it's so perfect (is the senses I mentioned) but to me it's the peak of your poem.

The following two sentences are fairly evenly split up on 4 lines and are a bit longer, good as a contrasting cool off for the finish line.

But the rythm here is gets little awkward. I'm not sure why exactly, but I feel something about the 7 (3stresses) syllable length of L5 to the 8-9 syllables (depending on if you read labyrinth or lab'rinth; 3 stresses) after the nice and even 3 3 3 before, thus continuing on the stress counts, but at the same time losing track of the unstressed syllables, I guess makes it stumble. L7 continues on L5s rythm, which is redeeming, and L8 feels like a more standard iambic verse continuation.

The ending is rather unsatisfying, rythmically, due to both the stumbling and with a boring final line. Yeah it sucks that I think the stumbling penult is dissonant, but an even final is boring, but that's what I feel. Maybe if the penultimate sentence, on L5-6, were more rythmically frigid, but then a little pirouette at the very end, I would be more happy.

But that's only adressing the rythm. The rhyming here is eased in real smoothly as well, with the "soul" - "found" - "home" - "sound" - "dome".
I like that!

The labyrinth is a repeated metaphor from a previous stanza, as 'maze', which can be a let down to have the same metaphor made twice, but here it kinda works as a connector, or a throwback to the lesser developed preceding stanza. That's pretty neat.

'the only way I can sound / the feel of my cracking dome' paints a little ambigous image (cracking dome like cracking head: which taken literally seems very unpleasant, do you mean that you are in such a pain, then which kind of pain? mental I suppose; etc... ) But it's alright, I think I get the gist. Either way it doesn't seem so consequential at this point of the poem. I guess it could be intruiging to end with a little ambiguous tease, but this one just a bit too unclear to me.
The sentence also feels a little like a forced rhyme.

the end.

OK. That's all. Hope my input is useful to you.

What a beautiful piece! I appreciate the depth and emotion that was clearly put into this. The format of this poem is fantastic. The short, choppy lines work together to create a smooth, flowing piece that draws me in, and I couldn’t stop reading. The repeated use of that line at the end of the stanzas were extremely effective, and not overdone.

I love the meta of this poem about poetry. I learned about meta in a poetry class I’ve taken at college. It’s a great use of the technique. The way you describes poetry is something that I’ve always felt myself but had no way to put it into words until i read this.

I like this because its clear you are going through some self reflection while writing this. Introspection is important.

My only criticism is that other people might not relate to your own personal thoughts, and that this poem may have been better off being kept in your private collection. I still enjoyed reading it though.

So much about this poem spoke to me. The word choices are vivid and really bring to life the mind of a poem and how you embody it.

An unsealer-

Releasing valves,

Unlocking memories.

A skeleton key,

To memories now set free.

This is what poetry is to me

That is my favorite line and the strongest visual to me. The story your telling sucks me in and I can literally see my head releasing a stream if memories and it flooding my mind.

I feel the poem started at very strong but the ending wasn't what I hoped for. It wasnt as strong to me as the other lines. But honestly it was great work and I enjoyed reading it. Thank you!

Like the theme. Highlights the many reasons I imagine much of us are here in the first place. I like free form poetry myself so i won't speak to change much but i do think if you didn't try to rhyme in the end you could word things a little better. Mostly mean the lady 3 lines, however I do like the lines.