I felt it this morning,
like a crutch out from under,
you stopped loving me.
That seemingly limitless tap,
ran dry.
And I can't undo it, two years
apart, felt like 10.
and i don't know when
I'll get another chance
for our soft souls to dance
arm in arm
never will i blame you
hurt you 'gain or shame you
you're the one for me and always
will.
https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/blkrbi/longing/emq2y96?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x
Posted May 7, 2019, 9:38 AM UTC
Love this poem. Simple and direct, yet full of emotional weight. Really captures the complex feeling of a love lost. Your choice of metaphors are extremely effective in capturing this, particularly "That seemingly limitless tap, ran dry...".
I really don't have any qualms with this poem. Great work!
Love the beginning of this poem, feels like an honest confession being made to one’s self. Also I recently broke up with my ex, who’s name was Kat. So I feel you
I agree with the other posters, it's short but has this fluid rhythm throughout, which is enough to illustrate your intended point, and the lines are well written, especially "that seemingly limitless tap", the small details, like the word "seemingly", make it stand out. It's quite melancholy, but also beautiful.
Wow, that was beautiful. The simplicity just added to its effectiveness, you really used each word so well and so effortlessly, just stunning. I was immediately drawn in.
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I actually really like this. Succinct but effective. You’ve definitely captured that feeling of feeling love retract. The feeling of leaning on something reliable and it not being there, falling through thin air your stomach lurches and you’re left wondering when you’ll hit the ground. The limitless tap ran dry, the crutch under your arm vanished. Sudden, damning. Love it.
I also like the imagery of soft souls dancing again. The kind of emotional closeness you’re left dreaming of. Arm in arm as equals.
It’s not the most technically complex poem; granted, but I like it all the same. It really speaks to me.