To get into grad school I need to secure two letters of recommendation from professors this year.
But I don't really know any of them well enough. How can I build rapport and get good letters?
Posted Apr 7, 2010, 3:31 PM UTC
27
Blowjobs.
Professors can't write a decent letter of recommendation unless they know what kind of oral sex you can provide to a superior.
2
This is easy. Either make an appointment to see them or visit them during office hours. Then, you close the door, kneel on their desk, and tell them "I am willing to do whatever it takes to get a good letter of recommendation from you for grad school." And then you do whatever it takes.
Of course, beforehand you've hidden a camera in their office, recording the entire encounter (and any subsequent encounters). You edit the audio on the recording to make it sound like you're being forced into a compromising situation, and THEN you use it to blackmail them into writing you the best letters of recommendation the world has ever seen.
2
This sounds pretty good but I have bad knees. Is the kneeling necessary? Can I just kind of lay on the ground to prostrate myself?
1
Maybe. You'll have to disrobe completely and blindfold yourself before getting on the ground.
1
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1
You know, if I was in your situation I'd probably just write them myself.
1
I will trade a letter of recommendation for paying for my schooling so that I can get a doctorate.
1
I am a professor of the internet. I'll be more than happy to write you a recommendation.
0
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