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r/RPGdesign•
beruda

Inquisition - a leaflet RPG - the Orders

Feedback Request

Hey guys,

My last post got a really positive response, and in the past week I furthered the design of the game, so I thought I'd give you an update.

I finished the back ("cover") page. It features the seven Orders of the Inquisition. Each Player will choose to be prior (monastic superior) of one of the Orders. This organically happened as I was writing the character creation rules. Since politics and intrigue will be a major part of the game, it occurred to me that lowly officers of the Inquisition wont have roles nearly as interesting as the actual leaders of the Inquisition. So I divided the Inquisition into seven Orders, and gave each prior some "abilities".

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https://i.redd.it/g7y6dvvrbq031.png

The abilities are things any PC can try, but you are just objectively the best at those things if you are prior of that particular Order. It will be clear how this works when I post the actual rules.

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Some notes on the process so far:

  • It's proving to be a battle of space. I had to sacrifice so much rules content in order to fit everything in the space dedicated to it. But this has also proven to be a blessing, because I think I came out the other end with cleaner mechanics overall.
  • After the last post, I went ahead and tried about thirty fonts for the headings. In the end, I went with Federo, and am sticking with it. It's simple, readable, and I really like how it fits with the rest of the design. I am shooting for a modern look, that just implies an old English style, for which I'm leaning on the Almendra family of fonts.
  • I scoured the internet for knight heraldry, Inquisition and Templar symbols that weren't tied to Christianity specifically, and anything else that I could use to create the coats-of-arms, but I found almost nothing that I could use. The historical organizations that I've based this game on are simply too steeped in Christianity to have any symbols without the cross, for one thing. So, with little choice left, I drew each coat-of-arms and used Affinity Photo for some editing magic. Do you like the freehand style, or do you think the design would benefit more from being in vector form?
  • A few methods I found that helped zero in on the theme and feel, as well as stay on point with the language:
    • I listened to Gregorian and Templar chants almost exclusively. Example
    • I read everything I wrote out loud to myself with as much impressive old English spice as I could muster, not being a native speaker, which really helped me get rid of more modern sounding phrases and word choices.
    • Reading a lot about the history of the period (the Templars and the papal inquisitions in particular), helped me retain some of that influence and rein myself in when I started meandering thematically.

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I'd appreciate your feedback on the writing (language in particular, but I also welcome grammar corrections), layout, and your thoughts on the heraldry of the Orders, as well as the Orders themselves.

Thanks!

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EDIT: I was thinking about releasing the project files from this when I'm finished working on it. Would anyone be interested in seeing something like that?

Posted May 27, 2019, 11:01 AM UTC · edited

1413
RaccoonyDave•

Looks like your leaflet is going to be a pretty good RPG. I can't say much more since I'm more eloquent when it comes to critiquing things I don't like or nitpicking in general.

If you realize that it's impossible to fit on a leaflet, you could consider upgrading to a zine. 3 sheets of paper stapled in the middle would give a nice 12 page booklet for example, that would be a huge upgrade in available size.

In any case, you should definitely share the project file or pdf or wathever. I'm not sure what your goal is, but from the looks of it, it's the kind of micro RPG that could be worth printing to have handy for quick pick up and play sessions. I'm not sure there is a market for paid leaflet RPGs, but it would probably be good enough to distribute and build a name for yourself. If I was a shop owner, I'd probably ask you permission to print out a few for the free RPG day.

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berudaOPDabbler•

Thanks for the kind words!

I'm commited to fitting it on a Z-fold leaflet, and I think I'm going to hit that mark, since I've cut down on the rules, and simplified them to this end. I've thought about extending the form factor in the ways you mentioned, but if I had done that, I don't think it would be a better game, necessarily, since I actually like what I came up with in order to save space more than the rules I started with.

I'll definitely release the pdf for free (A4 first, and then US letter size). I was asking if anyone would be interested in using the Affinity files - both the rules ones, and the art ones. I thought someone might want to use the border runes, or the artwork by Walter Crane. Also, anything that I made would be fully open source.

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axonrg•

This looks great.

Typo under "Blackcloaks", should read: "see through lies"

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berudaOPDabbler•

Nice catch, thanks!

2
wkinchlea•

First off, on the whole, shaping up really well. Here's my nitpicky stuff.

First off, 'And their Priors' - has this term been used yet in the work? if not, you may need one quick description first. Context clues help a little, but the layperson won't have any idea what it means.

I think Federo as heading font is a huge improvement - It's clear but doesn't sacrifice tone and feel as much as Montserrat. I didn't you'd be able to do it with a sans-serif font but you've proved me wrong. Good Choice. Looking at the text though, get a little tough with Almendra - what about switching the two around?

I think the hand-drawn pictures work well—they offer a good tone to the orders, without being too on the nose for what the orders are. For Keepers, Seekers, and Monks, I would maybe turn those into simpler shapes, since their level of detail veer a little away from the other orders. I would point out though, because we can all be pedants at times, that very little of the pictures are heraldric, since there is no shield or follows any of the general heraldric rules. These would be more like insignia, which since these aren't european nobles prancing about on the battlefield or in court, is a better go, anyway.

Flavorwise, the orders seem on point, though they do bleed a little bit into each other - when does the jurisdiction of the keeper end and the seeker begin? While it might be a little confusing, having a line about leaning into that liminal space in game could produce some great tension/story beats.

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berudaOPDabbler•

has this term been used yet in the work?

Yes, this is the back page od a Z-fold leaflet. The rules for creating characters are on the first 'spread' of the Z-fold, and there I mention priors, with a "the leader of an order" that follows, so no worries.

Yeah, I think the combination of Federo and Almendra works really well. I think I'll stick with Almendra for the body text, though. If it were a book, I wouldn't, it's more of a display font family, but since it's a leaflet, I think leaning into the tone it sets is more important.

I used the word "heraldry" because that's among the things I looked at when searching for symbols. Fair point, this has got nothing to do with heraldry. Oops!

I think the hand-drawn pictures work well

So you don't think it would be better to vectorize the designs of the insignia? (thanks for that word, btw, I should've used that one) Also, I see what you mean when you say that the detail level should be more consistent. I'll revise the ones you mentioned - remove the fine line-work, keep the shapes.

About your last point - that's the idea! It may seem like a cop-out, but I actually like that the Orders intersect and are somewhat vague. I think it will be more about the way they go about doing it, as well as leaving it to the table to interpret it in their own way. As an example:

I originally wanted the Blackcloaks to be torturers, but that implied that the Inquisition is (as an organisation) more in line with its real-world counterpart. I wanted the table to be able to play both the corrupt, holier-than-thou, practically evil version from history, as well as the actually good and virtuous fantasy equivalent, so, I made Blackcloaks the "secret Order of interrogators" and left it to the table to decide on what that means.

While it might be a little confusing, having a line about leaning into that liminal space in game could produce some great tension/story beats.

You mean add a suggestion for the players to lean into stepping on each others toes? I definitely agree that it would be great drama. I'm worried it might lead to PvP, which is something that I want to move away from completely in this project. Do you think that adding a rule that all PvP conflict must be resolved through roleplay or OOC is the way to go?

Thanks for the detailed feedback!

1
wkinchlea•

Vector - I think having lines that are 'too clean' would work against tone. I work almost entirely in the vector-based work, and were I to do this, I would be adding noise to simulate hand-drawn anyway, so I would keep it.

PVP - Absolutely step on toes. I think when you have an organization as powerful as the inquisition, either historical or fictional, the priors would naturally have rivalries - friendly or otherwise. It's natural in any organizations, and when jurisdiction is in question, they'll always be a fight of some kind.

I think having a line about no outright pvp (it's beneath their station), but letting them undermine each other, makes for great story and I would love to run that at the table (and often do in other games!)

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berudaOPDabbler•

Vector

We're of the same mind, then. I debated back and forth, and settled on hand-drawn for the reasons you mentioned. I just wanted a second opinion, you never know.

You've sold me on the infighting and Order rivalry. I think I have a few ideas on how to frame it within the rules. I'll post as soon as I have those done, and we can continue this discussion!

Thanks again, you've been a huge help!

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wkinchlea•

Glad to help!

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SalindurthasDabbler•

I like the aesthetic here (both in terms of imagery but also the tone of the text).

Also, while I might be reading in with some wishful thinking, I'm digging the rules approach hinted at here.

I'm a big fan of seeing the design space when taking a so-called 'narrative' style but applying solid rules to them (just not the sort we're used to), and I'm getting the feeling this might be going in that direction.

(In case it is unclear what I mean, I mean the sort of things that PbtA and FATE do it a moderate amount of, and that Polaris (2005) does a lot of, where there is less focus on the combo of GM-fiat and crunch, and more in more definitely procedural rules.)

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berudaOPDabbler•

Thanks!

You're on the right track - I wanted to slant this in the direction of "narrative" mechanics, but also give players a game to play, so it's definitely the balance I'm chasing.

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SalindurthasDabbler•

Well, I for one am excited to see what you post next.

And I'm curious now; have you played/read/heard any of the games I mentioned?

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berudaOPDabbler•

I've played Dungeon World as far as PbtA goes, and I've read rules overviews of FATE, mostly on this subreddit.

I have heard about everything you mentioned, but haven't had a chance to read Polaris, or the whole of FATE.

what you post next

All that's left is the second spread with the conflict resolution and advancement mechanics.

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