Homesick Perhaps

I hide my emotions behind a transparent curtain

I walk to the center stage in the hopes of receiving approval from the audience;

​

My mind rushing like a tidal wave

that will soon crash and destroy everything in its way;

​

Leaving nothing but this debris of judgment showering down upon me

terrified to open my eyes and see the faces of disappointment;

​

I hope for the day where I can open my eyes without reluctance

and the only thing I see in the crowd is my reflection;

​

I walk off stage and I see nothing but people I call my friends

Wondering if they actually accept me for who I am, because I certainly cannot;

​

I am sick of trying to find this place inside of me where I can call home;

Homesick, perhaps.

​

At home, I can leave my anxiety at the door

I can close every curtain

​

I can close every window,

so that sudden breeze of depression will not keep me up at night;

​

I hope for the day where I can open the door and let people into my home,

but for right now, I am locked from the outside, and I can't find the key.

---------------------------------------------------------------

​

FB1 https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/c3c5nd/a_bottle_of_vodka_and_the_arms_of_a_lover/

FB2 https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/c2oiez/if_code_is_poetry/ermazgl/?context=3