"In our bed in our room of our house." First poem I have written in many years. It's a bide dark but I have been reading Edgar Allen Poe so forgive me.

I grew up on Poe, so the feel of this poem is welcome in its familiarity. I like the darkness a lot. You mentioned the formatting (Reddit mobile is trash) but I kind of think it would read better in the format it’s in, if you were to revise grammar to fit it. Each stanza has a distinct idea behind it and the paragraph look works well. HOWEVER, praise aside, the one issue I have with this is that it feels a bit rushed. The darkness, unlike Poe, kinda lurks behind the door and then suddenly kicks it open. Poe would let it creak open and withhold what’s behind the door until it has the most impact. Either way though, minimal criticism, really great poem!

I'm on mobile too. So forgive the layout.

Even if you hadn't mentioned that you'd been reading Poe, I would've known it immediately, based on your using one of his themes and mirroring similar traits to his writing through repetitive phrases such as he uses in "Annabel Lee". I can't say I like the poem, I feel it is a regurgitation of one of the greats and does not have much personal influence at all. I could dive into other critiques, but the reason the poem is so off-putting to me is it's basic lack in originality. Part of writing good poetry and finding the truth in your own voice, maybe it would be beneficial of you to try and read some other poetry unlike Poe's and see what traits you find in those that you'd like to incorporate into your own style, instead of pulling all inspiration from a very-well known writer & writing style.

This reminds me of the scary story/poem books that I would read as a kid, and I totally love that. But it is also very Poe-esque like you mentioned and I love that too! There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it being dark. It’s short but very eerie and I love the feeling that it gives off as it goes along.

Great job on withholding the darkness until the end. The repetition feels almost like Seuss but far darker. (Forgive my novice interpretation because there’s probably another more acclaimed poet with a similar style) not my type of poem but I did enjoy