ohyouretough•

My big thing would be plabe shift and teleport and plane shift which the luggage couldnt do. It could run under water and through walls but when the traveler was in the magical realm shifting store it was helpless and confused

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Phylea•

A few formatting notes:

  • I highly recommend keeping a stat block on a single page
  • "Natural" should be lowercase
  • The average of 18d6 + 54 is 117, not 108
  • Medium creatures use a d8 Hit Die, not d6
  • Add a space between average and calculated HP
  • Add a space before "ft" in Speed
  • A CR 10 creature has a +5 proficiency bonus, not +6. All skill bonuses should be 1 lower (2 for Intimidation)
  • "resistances" and "immunities" should be capitalized
  • Condition Immunities should come after Damage Immunities
  • Conditions and damage types should be lowercase
  • Add a comma after "fire"
  • Remove "damage" from Damage Immunities
  • "nonmagical" doesn't have a hyphen
  • Either change "sources" to "attacks", or remove that ride and add "nonmagical" before "bludgeoning"
  • Psychic should come before BPS and should be separated by a semicolon, not a comma
  • "Understands" should be lowercase
  • Remove "spoken"
  • "cannot" should be "can't"
  • Each trait and action option name should be followed by a bold period
  • Charge
  • "in a straight line, then hits with a target with its bite attack" should be "straight toward a target and then hits it with a bite attack on the same turn"
  • "succeet" should be "succeed"
  • There's no such thing as a "Strength (athletics) save". It should be "Strength saving throw"
  • Chosen Master
  • Remove "chosen" before "master" (x2)
  • "existance" should be "existence"
  • "Plane Shift" and "Teleport" should be lowercase and italicized
  • I would change it to "It can treat its master like a permanent teleportation circle when casting plane shift or teleport."
  • Constructed nature
  • "nature" should be capitalized
  • "does not" should be "doesn't"
  • "need to" should be "require" and the list should be "air, food, drink, or sleep."
  • This should appear outside the stat block within the lore section
  • Innate Spellcasting
  • "luggage" should be capitalized
  • This creature can't speak, so how does it provide the verbal components for its spells? And does it have hands with the manual dexterity for somatic components?
  • Spell names should be lowercase
  • "(self only)" shouldn't be italicized
  • Magic resistant
  • "resistant" should be "Resistance" (capitalized)
  • "or" should be "and other"
  • Terrifying Appearance
  • Remove this trait. Its mechanics are accounted for elsewhere in the stat block, so it serves no purpose.
  • Multiattack
  • "Bite" should be lowercase (x2)
  • Change the second sentence to "On a hit, it can use its Engulf once."
  • Bite
  • Add a space before "ft"
  • Add a colon after "Hit"
  • The average of 4d6 + 3 is 17, not 15
  • Engulf
  • "luggage" should be capitalized
  • Change "that was hit by its Bite attack since the beginning of its current turn." to "that it has hit with a bite attack this turn."
  • "The" should be lowercase (x2)
  • 17, not 15
  • "Bludgeoning" should be lowercase
  • Does the creature have total cover against effects outside the Luggage?
  • What happens if the Luggage dies?
  • Overrun
  • "recharge" should be capitalized
  • The average of 6d6 + 3 is 24, not 21
  • "Bludgeoning" should be lowercase
  • "is not" should be "isn't knocked"
  • Reactive Bite
  • "Bite" should be lowercase
  • Add "against it" to the end
  • Lore
  • Each of your headings should be one heading level lower
  • Each heading should use title casting (e.g., "out" and "magic" should be capitalized)
  • Change "are gathered" to "gather"
  • "posessions" should be "possessions"
  • "moments" should be "moment's"
  • Why did you capitalize "Pearwood" in Bloody Single-Mindedness, but not in Made Out of Magic?
  • "It is very difficult to stop or even damage the Luggage. The luggage has no discernable eyes". You need to be more consistent in capitalizing "Luggage"
  • "discernable" should be "discernible"
  • "Stubborness" should be "Stubbornness"
  • "does not" should be "doesn't"
  • "cannot" should be "can't"
  • Is the master exclusively male? Why did you say "himself"? Does this creature have a gender bias?
  • Why did "Chosen Master" suddenly get capitalized in Actual Luggage but not anywhere else?
  • "lugage" should be "Luggage" (with two Gs)
  • "Bag of Holding" should be lowercase
  • Credit
  • This should not be in a read-aloud box, which is a box that contains text the DM is meant to read out loud to the table. Use a sidebar instead.
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