My Nmom showed up the my Ph.D. defense and told everyone including my PI (research professor) how proud she is.... of herself.

That's pretty bad. Didn't think people could sink that low.

Maybe you could try slowly distancing from them and not giving them details of anything in future?

Also, depending on how well you know your research professor, maybe have a word with them as well? Just to clarify things. Hopefully they already worked out/realised your mom was a narcissist and is just inflating her own ego

Yikes.
I imagine the other academics have seen parents exactly like that, and I'm saying that in case you feel super embarrassed. Either that, or they might your mom's behavior off as "cultural differences".

There is this resident working with the doctors where I work. She's suuuper quiet, eats barely anything despite being thin, but somehow I totally "understand". This girl, I would bet my money on it if I had any, probably has hyper smothering controlling micromanaging parents. She can't easily make "small talk" because she probably was never allowed the chance to.

My professor was shocked

At least you got some sweet validation.

"My professor was shocked."

So was everyone else likely, just too polite to say it.

In case you were wondering: she's nuts. Not you.

Congrats btw!

It's a form of living vicariously through others, particularly when you have no achievements on your own. I've seen it many times.

This would be funny if it wasn’t true it sounds like a sketch from a sitcom. Double up on self pride , your doing great.

I feel your pain. I had the best grades of my whole grade ( 100 plus students) and when i told her she told me to thank her and its all because of her prayers. Lol im an atheist so im god damn sure god didnt help me.

whoa, that is sooooo inappropriate. I hope she (didn't)* negatively impact your defence in any way. it sucks that you were left to explain that one to your panel.

*edit

Upvoted you to 100 and she needs a slap across the face.

Now that I think about it she needs to have a piano fall on her head like in the make believe movies

Congrats--you're a total badass! The fact that you did it all on your own makes it even more impressive and you should be soooooo proud of yourself. I'm sorry she tried to outshine you on a day that should be all about you, but in reality she just showed her whole ass to everyone there. She can keep being stuck in her own little world where she's the hero, but everyone there now knows the reality of it.

I know what it's like to have to do things on your own and to have no support from your narc. It's sucky and hurtful, but you become stronger and kinder because you know what it's like to be without. I hope you can move forward from this point and make the best life for yourself in spite of her.

Congratulations! Earning it on your own is a major accomplishment!

Congratulations! Doing all of that yourself is amazing. I'm sorry she tried to take the accomplishment away from you. What you have done is worthy of praise and I hope you know how hardcore you are.

If she comes in again, chew her the fuck out and ask her to leave or you will call the cops after your rant.

Wow crazy pathetic... Do you feel motivated to go NC now?

At least you're already very low contact. Everybody who knows you clearly knows better.

Congrats on the thesis defense! You rock!

Have you ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond? Find the episode where Robert has an interview to join the FBI and his mom pulls the same basic shit as your mom did.

It might help you get over this.

And congratulations on finishing your education! Nobody can take that away from you.

Congratulations! You are now officially a doctor!

at my college graduation my nmom took the liberty of telling everyone who would listen that she’s the only reason I made it through, what would I have done without her, etc. yeah.... even my edad mentioned it being weird and said something about my nmom being jealous bc she didn’t even finish high school. you don’t say, dad.

My narc dad and I got in an argument in the days leading up to my college graduation. He ended up trying to tell me that I had no voice in any of this since it was actually HIS graduation not mine..... ummm....okay.... **insert eye roll**... I'm pretty sure I was the one that studied crazy hard for 4 years and paid my way through college with scholarships but alright...

Hopefully the day went well for you regardless of the embarrassing mishap your mother decided to do.

I hope others understand the dynamics between you two and won't judge you otherwise.

But, in honesty, they probably just are mortified by your mother at this point.