Grandma texted me, HELP
“Hi <deadname>. How are you? How is school going? <some other small talk> We LOVE you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️”
She doesn’t know im trans, so seems like no big deal right?
well
There’s a reason she doesn’t know. I came out to my grandpa already, he was nice about it but when I asked about telling grandma it was strongly implied it might be better to “give it time” aka stay silent. So ok, fine, I was never close to grandma anyway so what do I care. This is the same (very “religious”) woman who thinks women shouldn’t be allowed to vote after all.
BUT now I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to just reply to my deadname as if I have no issue with it, but I can’t just ghost her either. She sent me this at 1pm Sunday, I basically have to reply someone tomorrow morning or it’ll be weird. I don’t want to start drama but I’m really trying to stand up for who I am lately so even one time of just going along with pretending to be someone I’m not hurts, you know?
Any advice?
Posted Sep 9, 2019, 6:30 AM UTC
You're not making this weird your grandmother is. You do not owe her anything. My advice is to compose a text like you would to any remote acquaintance and afterwards see if you want to give it a bit more personal touch.
If your grandmother does not accept who you are that is her choice and you then have absolutely no obligation to accept her in return.