Source
r/Advice•
poetsnaps

I (23M) think I hurt my mom.

Advice Received

She found out that my two (22M) and (18F) and siblings and I smoke weed. She’s a very old school, Christian raised woman. I’m kinda split on my emotions on it though. Anything under a certain amount has been decriminalized in my state, and the only reason it isn’t recreational is because the demographic of my state is trash. We’re all responsible adults; we’re all in college, we have jobs and contribute equally to bills (more if needed). Plus it’s kinda confusing because she fancies herself as the “hip” mom.

But she’s always been like this. Even when I turned 21, drinking made her squirmish, and I’m a bartender. I think a lot of it has to do with a sour relationship with my father, and doesn’t want us to repeat his history. I understand, but I feel like she shouldn’t judge me or my siblings for his mistakes, mostly because she raised us to do better.

Am I tripping? Is she just being dramatic? How should I handle our relationship if I really did hurt her?

Posted Sep 10, 2019, 2:48 AM UTC

15
IPreferDiamondsEnlightened Advice Sage [161]•

If she is Christian, tell her that weed is a natural plant, which it is! God put it here on this earth for a reason.

2
Sword_SongExpert Advice Giver [11]•

My family lives in a state where it's legal recreationally. My mom and stepdad have pretty bad chronic pain disorders, I do to but it's less relevant. They smoke, they don't get "high" but for pain management. I have other friends that are big time stoners, for fun and anxiety relief.

Both of these hurt me. I'm allowed to be hurt by it. So it's your mom. She maybe scared of you guys getting in to worse things, or getting hurt while high. She may have moral it religious stances against it. That is okay and allowed. I've never tried to stop any of them. What wouldn't be okay it's if she started trying to dictate your lives, or emotionally manipulate you out of fear. As long as she keeps in loving and caring, even when voicing her feelings and opinions, there is nothing to worry about.

You are also allowed to feel bad for hurting her. She's your mom and I assume you love her, but also don't let that cause problems. With time it should fade, for both of you. Talk about it if or when it comes up, other than that you are both entitled to your feelings.

2
poetsnapsOP•

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