Source
r/AvPD•
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Dressing Inconspicuously

A recent post just got me thinking... as a cis-dude, I've always dressed with plain-clothes t-shirt and jeans... I've had a short haircut and mild beard. I'm also brown-ish, and kind of chose to wear as plain of a t-shirt, hoodie, jeans, shoes... as much as possible. I have this inner feeling of wanting to be anonymous in public, so if I do something embarrassing, it can't be traced back to me at all. Is this something common to y'all?

Posted Sep 18, 2019, 6:40 AM UTC

2512
Tooldfrthis•

I don't know if that's the reason, but I do wear mostly anonymous, cheap clothes. I never really cared about brands, only about comfort and durability, depending on the use I'm making of them. I hate going to the barber, I usually wait a few months in between if I can, and I keep a medium beard too because it requires less maintenance than regular shaving.

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subheader_anticsOP•

I def avoid brands too.... but in this depressive state, I'm not sure if I avoid brands to not be seen, or if it's my inner anti-capitalist stance. I've also learned how to shave myself to avoid going to the barber <_<

3
wkgko•

I try to avoid wearing outlandish things that draw lots of attention (although I have some bad memories from wearing very noticeable stuff in school).

On the other hand, I have found that dressing up a little, and wearing things that are good quality and fit, can help my confidence a bit. I guess that can also be an attempt at not drawing attention - I don't want to be seen as sloppy, so even if I go food shopping or to the convenience store, I will dress properly.

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subheader_anticsOP•

Oh I have such feels from your post. I went oh-so-slight;y off my style in school and got negative attention that it barred me from doing the same again. (I'm like 15 years from then...). Nowadays, I fear going to grocery or convenience store without being dressed up, even if I'm in a huge metro area.....
At home... I have things that I actually think I look badasss, KILLA, SLAY QEEN YAAAS in... but I still can't wear outside.... uuuugh

2
[deleted]•

I've done this for over 10 years. I don't want to stand out in a crowd, I want to blend in and go out noticed. So I wear very plain colours, mostly blacks and greys, and avoid bright colours like red or yellow that I think will make me stand out more.

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papi34hh•

Mind blown same here.

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grapesofap•

I feel this. My true personality drives me to wear outlandish and weird shit, but like you I also don't want to draw attention. I'd kill to be less aware of everything

2
Oldskooler76•

Yes, I dress mostly in black out in the world. Very boring, jeans and black tops, black shoes, black handbag, no jewelry. However, at a rave or festival I feel comfortable putting on glitter, wigs, etc and having fun with my clothes, and I think it’s because overall raves are non-judgemental and anything goes.

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Toddingstonly•

I dress about the same, but I have long red hair and a full beard, so I probably do stand out a bit. I used to look a little more "normal", but I figured if I was going to feel like everyone was staring at me anyway, I might as well let my freak flag fly.

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[deleted]•

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eversnowe•

I used to always like flying under the radar or trying to be invisible. It didn't help that I was raised with modesty teachings that instructed me to cover up by wearing clothes a size too big. These days I like clothes that fit. One advantage of my AvPD is that I never frequented fast food joints so I'm a little lady who cleans up nice when I feel like trying my hand at make-up. It feels good to look good, even in a subtle way.

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[deleted]•

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NotTheStatusQuo•

I just try to look good without it being obvious that I'm trying to look good. I don't try really try to be anonymous. I definitely don't want to draw attendant to myself though.

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Sharper_Teeth•

Totally. I just started being ok with wearing shirts with my favorite band name. Never wanted anyone to have any thoughts about what I like or who I am...for fear of judgement.

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justlurking420•

Wtf is a cis dude

1