Source
r/breakingmom•
Mathochistic

What do you tell your kids when they ask when they're going to die?

kid rant 🚼

Mini-matho is on a death kick. She asks if her brother is going to die, not because she wants him to, but because she loves him so much and wants to be with him forever.

She talks about our parrot who died two years ago. She asks about when her grandparents will die, when Mr. Matho and us will die. She asks when she will die. You get the idea.

I make it a point not to lie, but this is a hard one. I tell her that everyone dies eventually, but none of us are dying soon.

What do you all do in this situation? I don't want to stifle her curiosity, at the same time I don't want to encourage it.

Posted Sep 30, 2019, 11:08 PM UTC

611
joshy83🍖JustNoCaveMIL🍖•

I have 0 experience with this, but out of curiosity, would it help to use this as an opportunity to explain that's why life is so precious and we should care about everyone? And if we lived forever none of this would be special? Or is that like a bad thing to say/way above anyone's head?

9
MathochisticOP•

I am a fan of the denial of death hypothesis, too.

I should have specified that she's 4.5 and her brother is 8.5 months.

5
joshy83🍖JustNoCaveMIL🍖•

Oh the ages won’t matter I still don’t know what to say :D but I’m definitely gonna look at any suggestions for the future!!

3
GoingToFlipATable•

My oldest asked about this around the same age. We explained that me and his dad weren't going to die for a very long time, and that he wasn't going to die for a very, VERY long time. That seemed to be enough for him.

7
cultofkefka•

My son is 5 and also on a death kick. We just keep saying it will be a long long time, weve sort of talked about how people get super old and then die. That leads to the awkward "look that gius old mom. Is he gonna die soon?" In public. Also then he questioned why my brother died and he was young. It's such a hard subject. I'm trying not to lie to him but also not have him laying awake at night with anxiety.

And yesterday we went to a graveyard bc hes been saying how bad he wants to touch a grave stone lol. Kids are weird

4
princessjemmy•

You're doing perfectly fine.

"I don't know when I/dad/[other person or pet] is going to die. Hopefully not for a long time. It's just not something you can predict."

If you have a kiddo who's anxious, like my oldest happens to be, you can always throw in a "But if I could call my own death, I'd want it to be 50 years from now."

3
MathochisticOP•

She's not anxious, so much as intensely curious.

2
princessjemmy•

Well, then the top statement should cover her.

3
EbilCrayons•

We just tow the whole “hopefully not for a very very long time” line. We have experienced a bunch of death so it gets brought up a lot.

2
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1
500Hats•

It may not be the best idea, but I tell them that you have to be very old to die.

My grandmother was 95 when she died. That’s a looong time from now. Can you count to 95? Let’s see if we can! 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. What? You’re distracted by that puppy? Ok! Let’s go pet the puppy!

2