Could use some advice!
Hey! Break up has been about a month and a half. After a bit of begging and pleading, I decided I was worth more than a cold shoulder and focused on myself - introduced healthier habits, work and hobbies, cut games, unhealthy stuff, even less Reddit whilst also trying to move on from her. This went well despite the emotional turmoil. I admit throughout all this I wanted her back so fucking badly.
Around New Years however, I caved. Seeing happy couples made me miss her so much, no other girl I met compares to her. I talked to her, it seemed to go okay and I even found myself hopeful. Didn't go as planned, became emotional and scared her off again. I basically told her she can change her mind whenever she wants, looking back on it I feel pathetic for having said that even though it is how I feel.
My mates are advising me to forget her and date around. Tbh I'm doing well but still feel quite lonely, no people really match the feeling I got from being with her.
Anyway, should I date around? I downloaded Tinder, got quite some attention which is great for my self-esteem haha, and have been honest in my intentions (nothing serious) but it kind of feels like I'm betraying her if we manage to work things out.
You guys have any experience with this? People I ask for advice seem to generally tell me not to give a shit about her, feels almost impossible though.
Posted Jan 9, 2020, 3:31 PM UTC
Gotta heal yourself first it's not gonna feel right because you aren't over it and you aren't in a healthy place to date around. Sometimes you just gotta be alone to get through it. Once your comfortable with yourself then you can try date. You got plenty of attention so you know you are good looking so just be with yourself until you are ready
Yeah makes sense. I'm almost like a schizophrenic when it comes to feeling okay with myself. Sometimes it's all good, I can feel pride in my healing work and self improvement. Other times I feel like an impostor and that my value is nonexistent without her, it's a shit fucking feeling.
Attention is nice, but it's not the attention I want right now, so I'll wait a bit. Thanks for your take.
I was the same way man a little tip was I saw a baby picture of myself all happy and I just got angry that someone hurt that child so I just think of my inner self as that child and I got protect it. It's weird but for me it helps
Appreciate it! I learnt about inner child healing and it's definitely something I try to work on. Some days I forget because I've been trying to keep busy :p
My inner child loves that woman so goddamn much though, thinking about it as her hurting him is a bit strange that way.
You'll get good at it it's all practice. I have a lot of faith in you already I don't know you but I know you'll do it. Another little bit of advice is don't have hope just have faith it'll get you further in life.