walkinghard

I've been hiding a lot. Mentally, physically, etc. No meetings, no posting and too much isolation irl.

Trying to get out of it. I don't know how it is for you guys, but my toxic shame has defined my life. More than anything. I'm over 2 years single and still think of my ex too often. Glorifying her existence. I still struggle with addiction (porn, screens) and I still isolate. I'm 1 week clean of porn atm btw, a positive.

How many people do you know went to rehab for their trauma/computer/weed usage? That's how desperate I felt. It's been better since then, but after falling into a depression again it's been mostly downhill for a while. I was posting here when I discovered cptsd and was

Throughout life, I've had this intense feeling of shame when I see embarrassing or 'incompetent' things (as perceived by me). When I see someone ask a question I see as obvious, I cringe a little. It of course also happens when I do/say something similar. It's one of the many factors that make social interaction and similar things quite difficult and has also made me more critical which I've always tried to work on, but it used to be difficult to maintain progress.

I always thought it was just because I was judgemental/a character flaw. I realized through trauma healing that my father always yelled/got angry when someone in the family did something like that. I'm just emotionally repeating

Hey! Break up has been about a month and a half. After a bit of begging and pleading, I decided I was worth more than a cold shoulder and focused on myself - introduced healthier habits, work and hobbies, cut games, unhealthy stuff, even less Reddit whilst also trying to move on from her. This went well despite the emotional turmoil. I admit throughout all this I wanted her back so fucking badly.

Around New Years however, I caved. Seeing happy couples made me miss her so much, no other girl I met compares to her. I talked to her, it seemed to go okay and I even found myself hopeful. Didn't go as planned, became emotional and scared her off again. I basically told her she can change her min

Hey, so I've experienced 'mystery' pains and ailments starting when I was a teenager, most of them unexplained by doctors and often brushed off. Ibs, migraines/cluster headaches (fuck these seriously), and tons of small pains. I thought for a long time this was 'just stress' or that I wasn't doing enough exercise even if I was quite active etc.

Since about a year ago I started having neck/shoulder pain and headaches that I assume are related. This went away for a while during and after a holiday, and its come back with a vengeance. I only came to the conclusion of cptsd a short while ago and have been doing a lot of research etc., even got a therapist that specializes in developmental traum

Hi. My girlfriend recently broke up with me, as little as two days ago. Well, technically I broke up with her - I didn't want to at all, but she did. She couldn't say it in so many words, so I did, thinking I was being the good guy. I try. I really do.

I'm not actually good though. Instinctively I'm manipulative and maybe even abusive, not because I want to see her hurt or reliant, but because I'm a mess of a person myself, and never really loved myself. Maybe that's why I acted so distant sometimes, it's hard to say, I self-reflect a lot, but the ego has a way of making those reflections murky and inaccurate.

She told me she felt pressured by our relationship, by me. She felt a sense of

Holy fuck. I just spent 45 min driving from Capitol Hill to College Park. I must've seen a hundred traffic violations.

In my entire time driving in Belgium (5 year) I've seen maybe 2 people texting and driving. Today I saw dozens of people doing it. On the fucking highway. A guy nearly hit my car while texting...I saw several people speeding on the fucking emergency lane, people not giving a shit about full white lines. Also, people here not know what turn signals are? I saw several people cutting people off with barely any space without even using their turn signal.

And holy fuck, a truck nearly hit me when switching lanes as I was next to him. Most scared I've been on the road like ever,

Hi r/anxiety, as you can imagine, the amount of stress/anxiety I felt surrounding a simple phrase was enormous. A year ago I wouldn't have even been able to talk to a girl, but through CBT I've been getting slightly better (I also get worse panick attacks than I used to, though, so not entirely awesome) at doing anxiety-inducing things (read: everything).

Now, I did get rejected by her, I dealt with it like a pro, stayed confident somehow and didn't even feel that stressed, the amount of pride I felt at being able to say it kept me calm, somehow. I felt really good afterwards, way better than I would've thought, even though she rejected me. This has been a major victory for me, I've been p

Hi, short rant, feeling kind of down after another day of avoiding studying for exams I have next week, I'm screwed and I don't even actively care. July was great, for a while I thought it was going to get better, but then I hit a wall. The second I stopped constantly smoking weed and drinking it all hit me again, it was all a fucking lie.

The second I had a REAL responsibility everything just turned to shit, I'm a weakwilled piece of shit, I stop smoking weed to start studying and I pick up videogames...I don't even get that much joy out of it, it's just a way to not get reminded about my worthless life.

The last time I had a depressive 'period' I felt bad all the time, I felt so much e

Hi, I'm a 20 year old guy! After dealing with anxiety and depression for a long time, but only 9 months ago coming to terms with it, I've been self reflecting a lot, and during this I came upon my first 'true' love, it was unrequited, unfortuantely, and it's left me more depressed than ever. But it's also made me feel very, very uncertain about love and how I'm supposed to handle it while dealing with anxiety.

A broken heart is already painful, but it seems with anxiety, I just can't get over it. There are so many thoughts and worries, that just invade my mind day in day out, and 'rest' only comes in form of self medicating (alcohol and weed), even though this is only a short term solution

Hey, I basically never post anything (hardcore lurker!) so if I do something wrong, sorry.

Here goes...I've been actively depressed for 4 months...I've been suffering from anxiety and passive depression for years. Never once had a real girlfriend, and since 3 years ago I've finally gotten some good friends.

One of my best friends, whom I've known for over 3 years now, has this amazing girlfriend...She's litteraly everything a guy could want. She's way out of his league (or, in my eyes, any living humans' league).

Well, the guy's always lied to her about everything, small things and big things (drug use, his collection of messed up porn..). He's bad at it though, and it's always come to li