Source
r/DeadBedrooms•
TechReader01

How Negativity Can Kill a Relationship

"Successful marriages are defined not by improvement, but by avoiding decline."

https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2020/01/negativity-can-ruin-relationships/604597/

"There’s an elegant symmetry to traditional wedding vows: for better or for worse. But love is not symmetrical, and most of us don’t realize how lopsided it can be. The worse matters far more than the better in marriage or any other relationship. That’s how the brain works."

“It is not so much the good, constructive things that partners do or do not do for one another that determines whether a relationship ‘works’ as it is the destructive things that they do or do not do in reaction to the problems.”

Posted Jan 10, 2020, 6:51 PM UTC

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InquisitiveSomebody•

This is a very insightful article, thanks for sharing!

Have you read anything by Dr gottman? He has similar studies about negativity and discusses very specific types of negativity that quite accurately predict whether a relationship will split or not.

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Rosie_skies•

I love Gottman! Listening to him has increased my awareness of my interactions.

I could be a little off, but i think he says it takes around 5 positive interactions to erase 1 negative?

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[deleted]•

Thanks for posting this Tech.

Of course I'm older and long divorced, but this is still good info. I pass such things along to my young adult children.

I wish my ex-wife and I were aware of things like this back in the 1980's, and of info from folks like Dr. Gottman and Dr. Schnarch among many others.

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