Need advice: I think I see warning signs my friend might be in abusive relationship
Background
I am male, and my friend is female.
She unfortunately was raised by an emotionally abusive aunt who raised her like Harry Potter under the stairs. Her mom died when she was young, and her aunt took custody of her, but was resentful of the burden of raising her. As a result her aunt constantly put her down, neglected her, made her semi-slave labor, and overall made her feel like a burden. She ended up repeating this pattern in a subsequent 10 year relationship with a man who lived with an abusive mother who put her down in very much the same way.
Current Situation
She ended up leaving the 10 year relationship with the man with the abusive mother, and for a brief period of lived with with friends. During this time we grew closer and I watched her get closer to her goals of leaving our home state.
However, she recently ended up with another guy who lives at home with his parents. I don't know the guy, but I know that he's not to happy when she hangs out with male friends alone. Lately, I've watched her slowly withdraw contact with me and other common friends, and draw down almost all of her activity on social media.
Recently I went to visit her at work and she was literally overjoyed to see me, running at me and *GLOMPING* hard to me in what was probably a 20 second hug. I asked her if she wanted to hang out, but she kind of avoided the question saying that she might go for coffee this week and to text. I've since texted her a few times over the next week with literally zero response, which is a little unusual for her.
Her goal before was to move out of state and setup a new life close to extended family in another state, but she seems to have all but abandoned that goal and withdrawn from contact.
Your opinion?
In your opinion, do the above signs seem to be point to her being isolated by her new romantic partner? If so, how would you recommend I support her?
Posted Jan 15, 2020, 2:34 PM UTC · edited
It seems likely to me that he may be monitoring her texts if she won’t respond to you, so in person contact will be best. Maybe next time you stop by her work you can tell her that her friends miss her and are starting to get worried. Avoid making accusations against the boyfriend since you haven’t witnessed any behavior. Let her know that you are a safe person to come to if things ever get bad and that she still has people who want her to succeed.
Best of luck!