Drowning

I just watched the end of bojack horseman and the one thing that I've noticed about the show : The metaphor of drowning is pretty common for reffering to bojacks depression . And It's not only that show people use this analogy fairly ofter ,But I just can't relate to it... Some days I can .There are times that I feel like I am just drowning and there is no escape ,but my life is not like that ,It's more like a constant state of melancholy . When I'm alone the It's just numb . And when I'm with others I'm just continiously uncomfortable.. Maybe I will always be alone or I'll find someone to distract myself with .Either way I'll still hate myself and that won't change.

*(this will have a lot of typos since eng. is not my native language but I don't wanna re-read it to correct them .This was just a vent I'll probably delete later )