Two years since I quit drinking has flown by!

Hey SD Fam! Checking in with yinz to share that I’ve recently celebrated 2 full years being booze free! My anniversary was actually January 28th, but I’ve been a bit busy living my life and doing my thing, so I didn’t get a chance to post last week.

I really can’t believe it’s been so long since I quit. The last night I drank, I had been bar hopping alone on a Saturday night in my neighborhood, as I was wont to do. I had dinner with a friend earlier in the evening and had some sake. She went home and I stayed out to drink more because I couldn't just have a couple sakes and leave it at that, now could I? I proceed to drink 6-8 high ABV craft beers at two other bars, then had two very strong vodka sodas at the last place I went to. I downed two vodka drinks in quick succession before the bartender had a chance to realize how drunk I was, then stumbled out of the bar and made my way home literally falling down drunk. It was raining and I couldn’t walk straight. I fell a few times in the mud, tore up my jeans and got filthy. I was literally crawling in a muddy puddle at one point. When I made it home, I sat on the stoop for a bit and thought about just passing out there for the night. But I made it inside somehow, fell asleep in my bed, and managed to stay alive until the next morning where I proceeded to puke my guts out all day and said for the millionth time that I was never drinking again.

And well, it really stuck that time, because I haven’t had a drink since. That was actually my 4th or so serious attempt to quit in about as many months. I had really been trying hard before that, but every few weeks I’d get a case of the "fuck its" and drink again. The falling down drunk, though, and knowing that I really could have hurt myself and put myself in a really dangerous situation … well, I guess that was a wake up call for me that I really, definitely, no shit needed to quit or I was literally going to die. (It's all on my post history, if you're interested.)

Things are looking much different for me these days. The days of white-knuckling it thru Friday and Saturday nights are over. Not drinking has been the normal for a long time. This weekend I hung out by myself, hung out with my boyfriend and his mom, did volunteer work, and went to the gym all without the assistance of alcohol.

I’m in the best shape of myself thanks to being alcohol free. I’ve been doing Stronglifts and Couch to 5K, so I’m hitting the gym 3-5 times a week. In fact, I’ve been working out so consistently that a woman at the gym stopped me today to compliment me on my physique and asked if I was a dancer. That would have never happened if I was still drinking.

I’ve been seeing a great guy since the summer, and there’s no way I would have kept this relationship going if I was still drinking. I was honest with him when we started dating about why I quit, and he’s been very supportive and appreciative. Honestly, I found the whole “dating while not drinking” thing to be much less intimating than I thought it would be. I went out with a few guys before meeting my current beau, and they were all completely fine with me not drinking. In fact, they welcomed it. One guy didn’t drink at all; another one did drink but was cutting way down; and a couple other guys were “normal” drinkers and enjoyed hanging out with me without the pressure to drink on our dates.

I’ve also saved a ton of money. I have a full $10,000 sitting in various savings accounts thanks to being alcohol free, and that’s even with some big-ticket item purchases and a few vacations thrown into the mix. I was spending at least $500 a month on booze, and now all that money goes straight to savings. It’s been such a load off knowing that I have a cushion in case I need it. I’ve also been increasing my 401K contributions, which I’ve been getting a very robust return on. It’s so much better than literally pissing my money away.

Although I believe that the most important thing is that I’m not drinking, I am careful to say that I haven’t been completely sober. I have been using psychedelics occasionally, and I still use weed on a pretty regular basis. I’ve been learning a lot about how psychedelics can help with addiction, and I can say without a doubt that they have helped me as well. For me, I've never had an issue with weed or other drugs like I have with booze, so as long as I remain alcohol free, that's the most important thing for me, personally.

I hope this post helps someone out there who is struggling. I know it’s incredibly hard to imagine 2 years without booze when you can barely make it two hours or two days or two weeks or two months. But, I truly believe that you can do this. Recognize that it’s one day at a time, and start racking up those days. Hell, even minute by minute. Minutes add up to days, weeks, months, and years, and it truly does become easier and easier. You got this.

IWNDWYT.