Anyone else have like, visual distortions at certain points, or am I just getting in my own head about shit? Overall just having kind of a bad time and need to vent some.
Got diagnosed with bipolar affective about a month ago, and got put on seroquel, 50mg a night. The first week or two was great: got a new job, got back together with my ex, started going to the gym, but this last week has been kind of bad. Kind of realizing that though the seroquel is helping, it hasn't fully like, stopped the swings between being manic and depressed.
My internal "you're just a piece of crap" monologue has made a fun comeback, now with an added paranoia where I feel like I'm not actually bipolar or anything, that I'm actually just weak and bad at life. I feel like people who really have bipolar have like actual problems, and my issues just stem from a bad character or something.
I keep having these moments, especially when I'm sitting in class or something, where I'm getting these really weird visual distortions and a really weird headspace. I don't know how to describe it really, it's like the air is moving, I'm seeing patterns that aren't there. The closest I thing I can compare it to is to when I used to do whippits, Nitrous oxide? I want to call it a sort of dissociative state, but I'm not sure if that fits. It's driving me crazy, because I've tried to describe it to like, my friends or girlfriend, and I just end up sounding legitimately crazy, and I feel like I'm just making it up or something even though I'm the one experiencing it first hand.
Thanks for listening, time to go back to class and quietly try not to have a panic attack.
Posted Feb 24, 2020, 5:56 PM UTC
I have the same problem with seeing things. I got diagnosed as bipolar 2 in October or November and I was coming off of antidepressants that I was on for over a year so that I could start mood stabilizers and it happened for the first time. I was in my bedroom at night and I had a lamp on and the light from the lamp was making waves on the wall and it looks like things were 2D or just not as real as they should look (if that makes sense?) and I told my psych about it and he called it “visual disturbances”. But that night and the next day I had them so bad I went to the ER because I got scared. It hasn’t happened that badly any more but I still see things “waving” or moving when I know they’re not. I’m not sure what causes it but my psych said the times I had them really bad may have been due to stress or a weird panic attack. I hope yours resolve I know it’s very confusing and can be frightening. ❤️