The Garden
This is a project I've been working on a little over a week now, I would love any feedback you can provide. In particular, I want to make it flow a little smoother, and would like to know whether the meaning is clear enough/developed enough. Thank you for any responses!
the garden emerges
brushing broad philodendron leaves aside
i smile flatly to myself
there is no death here
no chrysanthemums to drown
nor tulips for the winters freeze
crimson as the first budding of spring
lie rosebuds
in the ground below
their unnoticeable scent lifted upwards
by ancient currents of air
the looming shadow of the fern
ever present
vigilantly sways with the wind
a metronome
the turquoise blush of a
patch of blue spruce
quietly hums with life
i begin to walk
the verdant rosemary bush whispers
its faint aroma beacons as roots snake towards me
their spindles tickle my ankles
moving with me in time
so close i feel the air moving around them
they encircle and embrace me
it begins with a word
seedlings germinate
the further i walk the deeper they grow
they grasp for life within me
letters bloom in circles
cyclical sentences
a body without organs
the sentences
unimaginable for they have not yet been invented
a language of multiplicities
the language of the loved
roots extend in paragraphs
an ever expanding assemblage
words tell stories stories tell words
a never ending conversation
nothing new needs the old
the wind breathes
roots are sanded away when it inhales
when it exhales
particles carried by the air collect
each placed over the ages
year after year rebuilding the Tower
the roots cocoon around me
they block from view the light that anchored me to this world
i breathe
although the air is gone
i move within the earth
roots extend
draining oceans
salt crystallizes
circumvents me
it preserves my body
there is no death here
we begin
to walk
our breath compiles
footsteps in farms and in oceans
roots canal between us
veins pumping blood they transfuse the loved
they reshape the self
although our bodies remain
we expand
overflowing with the lives of others
the life of all
we grow connected
the language of the loved knows no prepositions
it is a deeper language
a language of inclusion
a language of procreation
to speak it is to know
that Heaven lies not at the top of a tower
it is abundant
although quiet
winds converge
they spiral in flux
currents moving in seeming disorder
burrow a circle into the ground before me
they announce a genesis
a coming of life
the soul of the world extends
Energy concentrates
it fills the earth and erupts outwards
vines reach for the sky and weave together
they tighten into muscles and tendons
breathing life into the figure now standing
within this circle of air
it is the Mother
air swells within her lungs
air soon to be words
the world holds its breath
she leans close to me
the most sublime power need not be seen
the memory of the world
exists as a right of its own
wind
touched by nature
extends out
it vibrates with words
they fill the world with a drop of wisdom
a droplet that will trickle through the ground
past saplings and the land of men
to be drunken only by the oldest
and the deepest of roots
to Love is to notice
not to lose the self
but to extend it
gusts of wind announce her departure
i am not I
the unspoken is spoken
our imaginations connect
our imagination is connected
Posted Mar 2, 2020, 4:30 AM UTC
Wow, what a wonderful read! You were able to express so much of your perceptions and apply it to nature, the energy inside it and yourself. I felt the connection with every word choice and it was just beautiful. Great work!
Thank you very much! Was there any specific word choice you liked, or words you would have changed?
I’m actually really interested in learning what the poem means to you. I enjoyed it so much. I don’t feel like I can suggest changing anything as of now. ☺️
The poem is my attempt to visualize my take on Deleuze and Guattari’s rhizome from A Thousand Plateaus, hence the allusion “a body without organs.” It was a very personal piece for me, it was an opportunity to paint as in depth a picture as I could for how I believe we should interact with the world around us.