Your weekly dose of batsoup virus 04/29 to 04/04

We back once a motherfucking 'gain, full disclosure I'm a full bear considering how much everyone's fucking up their response, this is almost definitely biased. Last week's stuff Here

Coronavirus updates

• USA finally switched to 30 days to prevent the spread, this however is still guidelines which do nothing, US is still looking like it wants to move to the dance without a proper hard hammer which is likely to cause more deaths.
• Cuomo still mad that NYC is having to bid against other states and the federal government
• OPINION US is still a shitshow.
• Italy looks like their daily deaths are flattening out but no signs of decreasing deaths as of yet.
• Singapore, one of the more successful countries (along with SK and Taiwan) is pretty much back in lockdown, this coronavirus is going to last a lot longer than you think, here, follow her, she's pretty smart and has some good fucking statistics.
• There was some dodging by Dr. Deborah that does Trump's press conference regarding asymptomatics. She was quite hopeful regarding asymptomatics last week, take it how you will.

Facts and figures

• Retards still don't understand how PMI works, people bitching about how China lied about PMI numbers (sure they probably are but at least know what you're talking about) here. https://twitter.com/Darky999/status/1245312126777839617
• Unemployment numbers came back and whoo boy what a doozy, market however went up for a brief minute cause of Trump tweet talked about below.

Oil

• Oil is too important to leave out at this point, I know I did last time but that's cause I'm not confident in analysing it, the below will have a few opinions highlighted.
• Trump tried to pump the terrible unemployment numbers with oil bullshit this time, saying that there would be a 10m-15m barrel oil reduction agreed between Saudis and Russia, it seemed like anyone that shorted the market right after this pump made an incredibly easy profitable bet
  • Russia and Saudis came out saying hell no we didn't agree to shit almost immediately
  • OPINION: While this was likely a targetted tweet to stay above a technical point there probably was some basis to this explained below.
• Hypothetical Opinion: I think it's most likely that some sort of deal will be reached here on Monday considering that:

1. US seems to be posturing a decrease in their production (which is what both Russia and Saudis have said they want, for everyone to reduce production together)
2. Saudi Arabia really needs much higher oil to balance their budget
3. Counterpoint would be that the above is dependent on Russia, simply put, if they want to put the hurt on US for all the sanctions and shit in the past couple years, now would be the time, furthermore SA's leader, MBS seems to have a strong stranglehold on SA right now and I'm unsure how temperamental he is.
4. Counter counterpoint: Trump did speak with Putin last week regarding "Coronavirus", more likely than not he wanted to pump the markets during the terrible unemployment numbers while expecting good things this Monday.

STONKS

• 3M was forced to listen to old Trump's orders as he whipped out his DP act
  • 3M's CEO striked back with a scathing response saying the administration is retarded to prevent shipping masks overseas cause they'll just retaliate likely decreasing overall output for Americans.
• Warren Buffet sold EDIT: A portion of his stock on airlines that he bought last month taking a big loss
  • Opinion: This is a big red flag for any long term investors, he barely ever sells (and when he does it's almost always the right choice). Him taking a quick loss here shows he had a lack of judgement at the time of purchase and/or he's come into new opinions of how all this is going to shake down