I ordered a used copy of Slaughterhouse Five just to read it. Opened front cover, jaw dropped.
Posted Mar 31, 2011, 9:18 PM UTC
1.1K255
I bummed a cigarette off of him in 1998. I was working at NPR in Boston, and he was out on the roof smoking area alone, facing away from me.
"Excuse me, do you have a- Oh, sorry MR. Vonnegut, I didn't know it was you."
We smoked in silence. It was awesome.
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And then you made out? Yeah, I bet you two made out. fantasies
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Well, on Earth they just smoked the cigarettes, but little did they know that those cigarettes were post coital, because even though they had fucked like rabbits twenty years earlier on Tralfamadore, this was yet to happen to their earthly bodies.
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And even as Billy Pilgrim knew it would be his last cigarette, he did not mind smoking it in silence with a stranger, because he knew that this humble stranger would appreciate the moment all the more so for its simple, astounding beauty.
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as Billy was watching tv, he fell asleep. He dreamed that he was helping the planet clean up the atmosphere, by inhaling all the carbon monoxide polluting the atmosphere, putting it back into the cigarette. The cigarette was slowly growing, feeding off those noxious gases, burning less and less red by the minute.
Billy dreamt he got up from his chair, put his hat on and took a walk to the nearest tobacco shop, where he gave the cigarette pack back to the tobacconist, to be planted into the earth, to help it grow.
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I had a very similar experience. I am a stagehand, and I was working one of his readings in the mid 90's. I stepped out for a smoke, and saw him there. I asked if i could join him. He said, "Sure, as long as you don't ask me anything."
I don't think I possibly could have said anything remotely interesting.
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You know, he puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like you do.
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Considering that he is dead, I am going to have to disagree with you here.
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hahaha touche damn you.
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I put my pants on the floor, jump on my trousers and pull up TYVM
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same here, why does everyone assume my wardrobe procedure is as banal as their own?
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Pall mall?
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Pall mall, unfiltered.
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Haha the woman's face is funny!
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"Pell Mell" not "Paw Maw"
The Earl Grey of cigarettes.
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pall mall makes me think of paul wall and that awful song grillz
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We smoked in silence. So it goes.
Fixed it for ya.
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Adding "So it goes." to the end of anything makes it totally sound pensive and contemplating at the same time.
I took a shit. So it goes.
I know I will be downvoted even though I enjoyed Vonnegut's books.
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Wasn't "So it goes" reserved for when he mentioned someone's death?
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Yeah, Wikipedia'd that after I wrote it. Never saw it that way when I read SL5 though. I read it as more of a general calm closure to things, and not necessarily related to death.
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I'm getting the sense that he preferred to smoke in silence or even alone. I'm the same way; it's kind of my time to reflect on things. To most people though, it's often a social thing which makes it difficult for me. Unlike Vonnegut, I can't really get away with being silent without feeling like an asshole.
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Was it a Pall Mall?
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A shopping center where you buy Palls.
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Some details of the story... as I'm not sure what to do with this or if it's even real.
First, I saw Slaughterhouse Five on a reddit thread on books that everyone should read in their lifetime, so I decided to pick up a cheap copy on Amazon to read. I like hardcovers, so I found a decently cheap one and went for it.
A couple days later, I get an e-mail from the seller, saying there was some kind of scribble in the front cover, and he/she would give me $5 back because it wasn't in New condition as described, or I could just cancel the sale. I decided to keep it, honestly don't care too much if books are written in as long as they're in good shape and nice looking.
So I got the book today, and sure enough, it's a hardcover with a dust jacket and all, in good shape, and opening the front cover there's the scribble just as described, someone's name or something. Surely it couldn't be Vonnegut's signature.
But, my curiosity wouldn't leave me alone, and of course I had to at least check. I did a search for "Kurt Vonnegut signature" on Google and quite a few results came up. As soon as I saw the first one I knew it had to be real and my jaw dropped to the floor, then I kept checking and more and more matched exactly. It's a very unique signature as well; either it's Vonneguts, or it's the work of a very skilled forger. This is the kind of signature that you have to practice over a lifetime it's so crazy.
Based on what I've seen, it's consistent with his other signatures in this time range (1994-1995), and it of course makes the book very valuable. But I will keep it, as it now means even more to me having a personal connection to the author, already one of my favorites from so many short stories of his that I've loved.
So, thanks Amazon seller, whoever you are. I have a feeling you knew what this was and did a very noble and kind thing by going through with the sale. I will not forget it, and I'll come up with some kind of repayment. Until then, I will read this copy very happily.
edit: Here's a snap of the front of the book also... it's the 25th anniversary edition. Pretty nice :) http://i.imgur.com/5vRsul.jpg
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You absolute bastard.
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So it goes
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I really like the concept of time that the aliens have, and the analogy of insects trapped in amber.
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And yet one day we will all be dead, and such a thing would cease to hold any meaning to us.
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But who cares, you're going to be dead.
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So it goes.
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You can say that about anything. So what?
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That is amazing. Congratulations.
I have yet to read this book, but I'm looking forward to it.
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Love your username. Have an upvote.
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Upgoat for good taste/generosity.
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Upboat for recognizing good taste/generosity and rewarding it.
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Thanks
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Read it man. In fact, read all of Kurt Vonnegut. He's a rare writer, whose books are perhaps less about the plot/story and more a medium for his ideas.
I've read a number of his books and they never fail to surprise me. I remember marveling how someone could stuff so many insights, all over a little book.
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don't waste your time
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His signature is insane. It looks like graffiti you'd see spray painted on a wall.
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At first I thought that's what it was. Until I saw the asshole, that is.
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yeah I knew it was him when I saw the little butt hole
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Is it wrong I think that seller is trolling you and sig is fake?
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No, it's probably right. After thinking about it for a long time, one possibility is that the seller knew it was a forged or fake signature and was trying to sell the book anyway. Otherwise I can't explain why anyone whose business is in books would give up a signed copy possibly worth hundreds of dollars for $15. Just doesn't happen.
But, it's still possible, and I'll have to get it appraised or analyzed by an expert at some point. Until then I'll just pretend, and enjoy the book.
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It's a great read! Fingers crossed for you it is indeed real.
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I don't actually understand what is it in signature that makes it so special. I thought the content of the book as you interpret it is its only true value. And I would hope authors agree with me.
But good for you if you get something out of it.
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I hate you a little bit.
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many people hate him a little bit right now.
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lucky, also how much did you pay in all?
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Paid $13.99 total, including shipping and the discount.
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We should hang out. What is your address and what hours are you generally out of the house?
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just follow him on twitter....
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dam dude. you lucky fuck. its a hell of a read.
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awesome, congrats.
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That is certainly his signature, but these things can be copied and printed. Though I think it would be easy to tell the difference between printer ink and pen ink. Is there any way to verify that it indeed a handwritten signature and not some kinda of forgery?
If its legit, you are a very lucky man. It would probably be worth a lot, but its that priceless type of super valuable.
Slaughterhouse is really good, but he has written a lot. My personal favorite is Player Piano, his first novel. It's not nearly as "post-modern" as slaughterhouse and the rest of his later novels, but its an amazing science-fiction based character piece. Of course his short stories are also worth exploring, you can't go wrong.
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Agreed on the signature. It's definitely not printed (you'd be able to see microdots, which don't appear here), it appears to be a sharpie of some kind. Still very possible that it was forged, but I'll have to take it to a sig expert to know for sure.
I got into Vonnegut through his short stories—they are very, very good. I read Welcome to the Monkey House first, which also has some of his early work... I'll check out Player Piano as well, thanks for the tip.
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I got into Vonnegut because of his short stories, too. The first short story of his I've read is Harrison Bergeron, and I loved it.
Sadly, I don't have the vocabulary to adequately express the envy I hold towards you... but I hope you feel my hatred.
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Harrison Bergeron has, hands down, my favorite line in Vonnegut's entire catalog:
"Don't fuck with the will of the people, Harrison."
I don't know why - but it really spoke to me and stuck in my mind. It was my gateway drug to the crack-cocaine that is Kurt.
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First Vonnegut I read was Breakfast of Champions, given to me by my father as a book I should read, when I was 16. Fantastic Introduction to Vonnegut, if I do say so myself.
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Player Piano - one of my favorites. I found an old beat up copy inside of an abandoned VW bus out in the woods where I was camping one summer. I returned it to the bus after I read it, hoping someone else would come across some a random read in the middle of the woods.
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I forget which book of his I was reading but in a forward, he rated all of the books he wrote on a scale of 1 to 10 and Player Piano was a 6 or something. I agree, it is a classic of his. One of my favourites is Cats Cradle. I made the mistake of reading a large majority of his books in rapid succession and I feel they have all blended together. I have to revisit them. One, by one. So it goes.
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complete with his drawing of an anus.
EDIT: pardon me, i meant asshole.
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I'm incredibly jealous. Nice find!
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Actually it wasn't any list, but just a few mentioned in this comment:
Spectacular comment read in any case (I think it was on bestof a while back) and he mentions a few books he cherishes near the bottom.
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I assumed he was speaking of this.
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awesome!! i don't really read ever, but like the only two books i've ever bought were both Kurt Vonnegut books!
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I've got a signed Vonnegut at home and it looks very much like his signature.
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Thats so awesome...certainly tops my one signed find. I picked up a copy of Interview with a Vampire from Anne Rice at a yard sale a couple years back, wife was looking at it and noticed a signed bookplate inside the front cover. I thought I was lucky...but Vonneguts sig describes as a scribble and being offered a partial refund....thats unreal.
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I had a similar experience with my college bookstore. I bought a copy of Rocket Boys by Homer Hickam, with his signature in the front. It was made out to some dude named Andy and had a nice personalized message and everything.
Not quite as cool as yours, though.
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I almost like yours better, with the connection to October Sky being one of my favorite movies from my childhood. I will have to read the book now!
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I think the book's much better, but I read it first, so take it as you will.
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I love the fact that "October Sky" is an anagram of "Rocket Boys." Or really, that they are anagrams of each other.
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I did not know that, thanks! That's fantastic.
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Based on what I've seen, it's consistent with his other signatures in this time range (1994-1995), and it of course makes the book very valuable.
Not to sound like a contrarian, but how do you know that? Book signings are very common, aren't they? There could be thousands of copies of SH-5 with his signature.
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This is one of the few times I have felt genuinely happy for someone else ~ congrats!
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Pay it forward. ; )
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Looks like it's been tagged by yobbos.
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fantastic. fucking cangrats.
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You lucky sod.
Congratulations are in order. I hope for our sakes that this isn't a caper :)
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I have a feeling the amazon seller, actually, had no clue.....
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I ordered my mother a copy of Gore Vidal's Lincoln for xmas. Looked inside, and there's a signature.
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I was your Amazon seller. I made a huge mistake. I thought someone's 4-year-old had gone nuts with a Sharpie.
Please send this book back to me. I will give you my home address to ship it to. It may be a different state than the address you received the book from, but don't worry about that. The name I ask you to mail to might be different than what was on the return address and seller information, too. But I am definitely legit.
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and my jaw dropped to the floor
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When I was studying my major, one time I was bored in the library with some friend... We took a batch of books, and signed all with the name of the author.... :$
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Can you link me to that thread?
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And here I thought you were just whinging because someone tagged the inside of your book.
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Heh. "Not in New condition as described." I am laughing immoderately right now.
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Yeah, that was about my response. There was even a $5 bill refund nestled in the pages. I don't know if it could get any more wild.
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[deleted]
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Yeah I think I'll send her more than that.
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Keep the fiver as a bookmark!
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[deleted]
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You're a good guy.
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Don't forget!
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Buy lottery tickets with that 5 you freakishly lucky person.
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You should propose to this woman.
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Who doesn't recognize Vonnegut's signature? What would they have in common?
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[deleted]
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They both, at some point, owned the same book.
Epic romances have been built on less.
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Bad-assery. That's what.
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And your jaw is going to drop once you finish the book. A true classic. So it goes.
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And your jaw is going to drop once you finish the book. A true classic. So it goes.
but no one died...
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Your jaw drops so far that it results in your death!
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Disagree on this; think Vonnegut is very overrated.
But the submitter's story is still a nice one.
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Oh r/books. Sometimes this place is great for intellectual discussion and sometimes you state your personal opinion about an author and get downvoted.
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I would be willing to wager that he would have received more upvotes had he explained why he thought Mr. Vonnegut is overrated.
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But no one is required to give a reason when they say how awesome Vonnegut (or Snow Crash, or Pratchett or ...) is.
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This is true.
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I'd like to think so, and I suppose you have a point. Good comments need good content.
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Really? Look at the comment I replied to. Pure adulation.
That's fine but it doesn't really deserve a more detailed rebuttal than what I gave.
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I was also very underwhelmed. My main reaction was "I don't get it."
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I've given him many, many chances and I haven't liked one thing he's written.
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Funny, cat's cradle is one of my absolute favorite books, but I didn't care for slaughterhouse five that much. Although there are quite a few books/movies/songs I just never "got" until I read/saw/heard them a few times
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I have to agree on both counts.
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No need to shout.
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Same thing happend to me with another book of mine. My grandma got me a used copy of a book for Christmas. Turns out it is signed by the author and, I kid you not, "addressed" to the one and only Newt Gingrich. The book was Stuart Kauffman's "Reinventing The Sacred" which is ironic giving Newt's conservative religious stance... I have a feeling he didn't appreciate it :)
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pic?
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Sure, hold on.
edit: here it is! http://i.imgur.com/77JBQ.jpg
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Cool, thanks.
It'd be interesting to know the story behind that.
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no kidding. Ironically Stuart Kauffman is the only author I've ever written who didn't write back. I think he probably would, my message may have been swallowed up. I'd like to ask him about it sometime.
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I grew up in Redding CT and the local library is called the "Mark Twain Public Library". Apparently Mark Twain donated a bunch of books when the library first opened including several of his own works with personal comments written in the margins. They remained in general circulation for years until someone realized how valuable they were at which point several had already gone missing.
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wow, that really is sad :(
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He's my grandmother's cousin.
But he was an asshole to her (women in general...), so they stopped speaking and I never got to meet him.
It's a good thing I just shared this story with no one in particular.
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I think you accidentally a word
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I had an had extra word.
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And I thought I got lucky when I was sent a first-edition Infinite Jest for $15.
Some day I hope to stumble upon a deal as magnificent as yours.
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I know it isn't what you want to hear, but I don't think that is an authentic signature.
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Why?
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cognitive dissonance is probably the cause of your downvotes. not only are you right, but you took the time to circle the reasons why you are right.
I think you should make note of this, and start selling off some of your "signed" collection to these folk :)
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What does that even mean?
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It means Picasso vomited all over Vonnegut's signature.
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It means that Vonnegut had some consistent features for his signatures and the areas I circled exhibit marked differences that indicate this is in fact a poor attempt at forging his signature?
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My 2 ¢
Kurt Vonnegut signed a lot of books over a lot of years... let's find something closer to the probable date of this one.
Like, for example, exactly the same edition:
http://pictures.abebooks.com/MATTHEWR/2432180953.jpg
It's exceedingly similar in all the areas you mark. Here's another:
http://pictures.abebooks.com/ORPHEUS/1040872581.jpg
Even more similar, and between the three, the variation is pretty wide.
I'm no signature expert of course, but starting with the right time range seems like a good idea.
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I didn't even need to start with the correct time range, as the areas I mentioned have been consistent throughout the years. Having said that, the problem areas do still exist when compared to those and I'm shocked that you can't see them.
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Dunno if it means anything, but those examples, the signatures are in the sky of the background image. In yours, the signature is over the buildings.
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Why don't you just ask the seller?
They might say - oh yeah, that's a fake Kurt Vonnegut signature.
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Yep, you are an idiot.
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Actually it is what I want to hear, if true - I really don't care too much, it's just kind of cool. If you have information or can tell me that it's not real then I'd love to know for sure.
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Books signed by Vonnegut are going in the $150-$300 range on eBay over the last 90 days. Their signatures seem to match yours.
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As someone who collects this sort of thing, I'm about as certain as one can be that it is real.
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You're kidding right?
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Dude, you are wrong. That looks real to me. the * is a dead giveaway. Besides, ebayers will believe anything ;)
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You tried, man. And I appreciate your efforts. I think It's just the case of somebody, almost blindly, thinking he's stumbled upon the holy grail, and thus overlooking the stark differences. Could it be real? Possibly. Even, hopefully. But I don't know, the evidence for this being authentic is very flimsy.
Great story though.
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I see my 2 year old has been near it. I'll admonish her by suppressing her Dr Who viewing habits.
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suppressing her Doctor Who viewing habits.
FOR SHAME!
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Complete with the asshole! Nice find. Congrats!
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ctrl f: asshole. Nice.
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ALL OF MY JEALOUSY
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You lucky SOB. :o
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Read The Sirens of Titan next... possibly equally astounding.
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Calm yourself, it`s just a forgery.
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This happened to me with a copy of Tobias Wolff's The Night In Question, except it took me a year to notice.
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It matches mine . I think its legit.
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Read Breakfast of Champions to understand what the little star in his signature means. Beautiful book. My favorite of his, easily. It's just so lovely. :)
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A++++ WOULD BUY AGAIN DESPITE SCRIBBLES ON INSIDE OF FRONT COVER WHY AM I YELLING
Laughed outrageously loud irl.
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shame
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ALWP