Source
r/workingmoms•
natmarisel

Pressure to make things “cozy”

This isn’t specifically a working mom thing, but I want to take a moment to bring up the pressure that I feel as a mom to make things “cozy” at home and to make sure everyone feels like they’re taken care of. By cozy I don’t mean Pinterest decorating, I mean more the feeling of security and being “cherished” (which doesn’t have anything to do with decor). I feel like it falls on me to make sure that the house is clean enough that the clutter etc doesn’t cause everyone stress (as in, no one can find anything). I also feel like it’s my job to make sure that there are nice meals and snacks, basically (like I said earlier), make sure that everyone feels taken care of. I don’t know if anyone else feels like this? I don’t always mind, but I’ve definitely noticed that I place this expectation on myself.

Posted May 18, 2020, 9:23 PM UTC

102
OGkateebee•

The Working Mom Anthem, Redesigning Women by The Highwomen addresses this in the first verse:

Full time living on a half time schedule

Always tryna make everybody feel special

Learning when to brake and when to hit the pedal

If you’re not familiar with this song, look it up. It gets me to the core every time. Sometimes ugly tears.

4
sunshineandmoonshine•

I was getting ready to comment something about talking to your partner blah blah until you said that you recognize you put this pressure on yourself! I don’t know how to help other than offer solidarity because I do this to myself a lot too.

Edit: for me it mostly happens when I’m not feeling fulfilled in other parts of my life which is really hard because I’m a type A overachiever. I’m currently under employed and I’ve noticed I’ve been working a lot harder at cooking and home decor since I’m not feeling fulfilled at work.

1
bday299•

Yes. I do take care of all the extras. My husband loves Chai tea... guess who stocks the house with it? I also ensure that my son's favorite snacks are available. Oh and the dog going to the groomer whenever he starts to stink? Me. This is on top of all the other typical mom duties groceries, cleaning supplies, general cleaning, laundry, etc. My husband is a great man, but I definitely do the cozy things.

1