I'm Beginning to Call Out My Nmom

Hi, I'm really new here, but I wanted to share some of my experiences recently and see if they really check the boxes for narcissistic behavior. This is a bit rambly, and is not the only instance of potentially narc behavior, but it was my wakeup call.

I (26) called my mom to tell her that my fiance and I split, after 11 years together. I put it off for over a week, since I was afraid she'd have an "I told you so" attitude, and I couldn't handle that.

Finally, I couldn't put it off any longer, and I called. The first words out of her mouth were "I figured this would happen." Not sorry to hear that, no asking how I was doing, no asking what happened. Her initial response was about her, not her devastated child. I almost cried, and responded "Yeah, I'm holding up fine, thanks for asking." And I hung up. I haven't spoken to her since.

She called me back immediately, and left a message saying "I didn't mean to sound like that, I love you."

Fifteen minutes later, she messages me "I love you."

Fifteen more minutes, and she finally says the words I was waiting for: "I'm sorry." It took her 30 min to say those words.

I'd been messaging my sister by this point, since mom immediately called her about it. Sister was supportive. I was exhausted and had cried because my worst expectations for my mom came true, and I hate when my anxiety is right. I decide I'll message her tomorrow. She did say sorry, and both dad and sister say she regrets what she said.

1:30 am, I get a message. "I know you're going through a hard time right now, but calling me unsupportive really hurt my feelings." She proceeds to shame me for not reaching out during a very rough patch in her life, one where she made things worse for herself and where I could not support her, where she was in the wrong. "I'm sorry you got upset, but I won't apologize for not acting surprised. Remember, you hung up on me. The door is always open."

She has left several voice messages, all of them say "I love you." Only one actually says the word "sorry," and it's "I'm sorry this happened the way it did."

I don't know what to do, and I don't know how to approach her. I'm pretty sure she at least has some strong narcissistic tendencies. I want to contact her and set things straight, but I don't know how to do that without her winning.