FindingQuestions

My edad messaged me saying how he would like me to message my nmom, since she messaged me a few times and I haven't responded. The last two times I tried to talk to her and stood my ground for the first time EVER it ended very badly.

Edad has only ever gotten her side of the story, but he'll defend her forever and I don't know if I have the energy to explain to him and get shot down again and again.

I'm finally standing up to my nmom instead of quietly dealing with her covert bs, and it's having ripple effects I've never felt before. Idk much about how to handle it, any advice is appreciated. I love my dad dearly, but he is the definition of "keep the boat steady" and I don't want to spend

Hello, everyone! I (27) am brand new here, and I'm looking to set up a skincare routine tailored to my needs.

I get dry skin sometimes from cleansing, but moisturizing fixes it easily. I get acne between my eyebrows, on my chin, and on my nose. I have massive, awful permanent blackheads on my nose, too. I get a bit oily on my forehead, nose, and chin.

I'm starting to show a few tiny lines around my eyes. I have dark circles around my eyes a bit, too. I'm okay with slowly gaining wrinkles, it's going to happen, but I'd like to put it off as long as possible by keeping my skin healthy. The dark circles just make me look constantly sickly.

I want to reach a point where I'm comfortable enough

Growing up with a narc mom who tries to make everything about her, I definitely don't have a good grasp of when to interject or when to start a conversation. One trick I've figured out is to ask myself why I feel the need to speak: do I actually have something to add or am I going to tell a faintly related story about myself because I haven't spoken in a little bit? There is a distinct difference for me, and I learned really well how to curb my interrupting.

However, when starting a conversation, I have no idea if it's for me or the people I'm talking to. Even when it is for me, I don't know if it's a reasonable level of neediness or not. Current example which inspired this post: I was cons

I know, weird title, in trying to figure out if that's a thing. Kinda graphic personal feelings below, if I'm oversharing let me know and I'll remove the post. Basically just wondering if anyone elses version of porn/smut is actually just intense romance scenes that turn you on. It's super weird and hard to describe. For me, I'm not attracted to the people involved, but the intensity of a romantically sensual interaction is what I enjoy. I'm not into the people, I'm into the situation, and it's way better when I'm not involved (romance involving me isn't as arousing as fictional romance).

Anyone else? And does that fall under aego?

I still can't find the courage to come out to them entirely. I have a lot of trouble telling partners I'm ace, and I've never told anyone else (besides the internet, y'all are great). I've just been describing how I feel about sexual stuff and having my roommate (who knows what asexuality is) exclaim and be baffled by how I live my life.

Any advice for being less nervous?

Does anyone else have trouble socializing? Like, you don't know how to act sometimes, if you should speak up or stay quiet, or what to say?

I never really had a voice growing up, and I think it stunted me somehow. I have a lot of trouble in conversations, I don't know what's okay to say or share, I question a lot of what I say afterward. I don't know how to introduce or switch topics. I feel completely unequipped for socializing, and it's very draining.

How do I get better at this? I know socializing more can help, but I've never been "antisocial," I've just always been confused.

So, my mom manipulates my dad by agreeing to things that cost money that are out of her budget. He doesn't find out until it's too late and then he would have to back out of a deal that's otherwise completely okay as far as the other party knows.

The story today: a horse. Nmom is getting a miniature horse to put in the back yard. She already has a small herd of goats, a koi pond, and an expensive beehive (she also didn't tell my dad the cost of the beehive, $500). My parents aren't even well off, they just manage to pay the bills. They have no savings, no safety net. My dad just wants to pay off a large credit card debt, put a little bit into savings, and retire. My mom wants to spend as mu

Idk if I'm posting here too much right now, but I just wanted to say something because I don't know how to feel about anything right now.

So, my mom shows a lot of signs for being a covert narc. It's all been really subtle stuff, no blatant abuse or anything, but she's always controlled me and lashed out when I did something outside her control. It's taken me until now, 26 years old, moved out since I was 19, to figure out what's wrong with our relationship. She's controlled me that whole time, even without living with me.

I talked to my therapist yesterday about all this, and the wildest thing happened: she agreed with me. About everything. She even told me about "grey rock" in order to k

Hi, I'm really new here, but I wanted to share some of my experiences recently and see if they really check the boxes for narcissistic behavior. This is a bit rambly, and is not the only instance of potentially narc behavior, but it was my wakeup call.

I (26) called my mom to tell her that my fiance and I split, after 11 years together. I put it off for over a week, since I was afraid she'd have an "I told you so" attitude, and I couldn't handle that.

Finally, I couldn't put it off any longer, and I called. The first words out of her mouth were "I figured this would happen." Not sorry to hear that, no asking how I was doing, no asking what happened. Her initial response was about her, not

This afternoon has been nuts, and I just feel like posting.

Background: lately I (26) have been coming to terms with my mom being controlling my whole life. Late last year I told her I was polyamorous and had a bf as well as my fiance, she didn't approve to say the least, and lamented that my relationship was failing (this post is not about polyamory, no comments plz). My fiance and I split a week ago, and it's for the better but hard since we've been together 11 years (yeah, do the math, we've been together since we were 15/16).

Today: I knew I had to tell my mom we'd split, but I was afraid she'd have her usual "I knew it" attitude, and try to pin this on me being poly. I had to tell her