Source
r/OCPoetry•
catinaredhouse2000

I am an annual

I am an annual

born to die by spring.

Not made to outlast

what winter will bring.

You may love me now,

but that won’t change a thing.

Because I am not here

to make it til spring. 

I am a transient 

kind of being.

Accepting of fate,

that we are but a fling.

When winter comes knocking,

I shall not cling. 

For I am quite educated

about this kind of thing.

I am an annual 

not made to see spring. 

And you are a perennial,

Born to live beyond me.

​

Feedback:

youth: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ik3pgq/youth/g3iipm7?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Letter 21: https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/ijyrrv/letter_21/g3ijvpa?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

Posted Aug 31, 2020, 9:02 PM UTC

58
Jamblasticus•

I am always drawn to sadness when it comes to poetry. I get images of a fleeting relationship maybe? Something that could have been more, but wasn't meant to be. Very nice poem.

3
Taliska19•

Well I love it and definitely identify with it. Which is great from a poetry side just sucks irl. I love the plant metaphors (not sure if that’s the right word or not) and seems rather fitting. Beautiful whilst it lasts and then fades when winter comes. Tragically beautiful

2
misty-june•

Simply put this was a satisfying sorrow to experience. Your rhythm is gorgeous the way it’s short yet flows in this lovely seesaw motion. You’ve managed to bring up two very separate perspectives from me when I read, the first being like jamblasticus said, a short relationship. But the other for me anyways was of seasonal depression. Your metaphors with the plants hit very close to home in that perspective and it’s impressive that you were able to capture such different messages in one beautifully written poem

2
catinaredhouse2000OP•

Thank you for your feedback! “Satisfying sorrow” is the greatest compliment to what I was trying to do here.

2
gabbean•

I really enjoyed reading this! I think the rhyming works quite well and doesn't interrupt the flow you created here, which is difficult to do. I also really liked that you ended with an off-rhyme - I think this would be a cool poem to perform at a poetry slam, especially given the subject. I found myself wanting to see the subject thrive and die - what annual are they, what colors and shape and how do they wither? - to really hone into the tragic tone of this. Thank you so much for sharing, and I hope I offered something helpful!

2
catinaredhouse2000OP•

Thank you so much! I will take a deeper look at the imagery to see if I can add anything!

1
[deleted]•

[deleted]

2
circamidnight•

I get the sense that this is about someone with low self esteem. You're just an annual, transient, that will go away, unimportant.

"But that won't change a thing"

This line feels like it doesn't fit in the rythym. Maybe just "Won't change a thing" would fit better?

Overall really nice language, and I liked the metaphor.

1
catinaredhouse2000OP•

Thanks for the feedback, I agree that “Won’t change a thing” fits better. This wasn’t from my perspective about self esteem so much as a realization that in the larger scope of humanity my contribution is likely to be inconsequential, and that I’m ok with that. Not everyone can make it to the history books. The great thing about poetry though is it is completely individual. Thanks for sharing your interpretation!

1